Newly Bereaved

Peter died 2 months ago tomorrow. I am finding it so hard. I didn’t realise the pain was so bad when you lost your partner. We had been together for 50 years. I just can’t imagine life without him. I miss him so much.


Hi Jackie 1 , I’m sorry to hear of your loss .it’s just over 3 months since my husband died ,and I miss him more & more each day. We celebrated our golden wedding anniversary in March & he died the middle of June . Nothing prepares you for the sadness, and it is just so lonely , I sometimes feel everyone else is just getting on with their lives where as I can’t imagine getting on with my life without him. Sending you love , Jan xx

so sorry for your recent loss. you are amongst friends here, we’re all travelling the same enforced journey.

Alan, my husband of 50 years, passed very.suddenly 19th May 2018. it was and still is very difficult to cope with. everyone on here have been a huge support and no doubt will be a huge support for you too.

there is no time limit on grief and we stumble along as best we can, you are probably still on auto pilot in a sea of fog. that was how is felt to me and many more on here. there’s no quick fix and whilst family and friends mean well, unless they’ve experienced the loss of a husband/wife/partner then they really don’t truly understand the pain you’re feeling. just take each day at a time, even one hour at a time. baby steps are all we can achieve to progress into the different life we now find ourselves having to build. your husband will always be close by and please take comfort in knowing this.

I truly do feel your pain, likewise so does every single person on this forum too. there is no pressure so just take your time,

this forum has been a lifesaver for me and the video link counselling sessions were a godsend. if you want to rant then this is the place, if you want to reminisce, then this is also the place.

please take care and try to look after yourself.

truly hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today


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hi Jackie my husband died just over 3 months ago and I am finding it hard too its a long time to be together we were together for 43 years just seems really hard to try and live with out them you are right it is painful very much so I imagine this is part of grieving happy to chat to you if you need an ear xxxjulie

the same for me 3 months ago does feel like people just get on and your left alone me and my hubbie were married for 43 years i feel so lost here to chat Julie xxx

Hi Jackie you echoed my thoughts exactly I also lost my partner 11 weeks ago after being married 46 years and being together for 49 years . We retired a year ago I am 65 and he was 66 . It is hard to keep going when even photos of him make you miss him being there even more . In two weeks we would have celebrated our 47th wedding anniversary and I have decided it is the right time to scatter his ashes where he wanted to go . The thought of this is breaking my heart but I must carry out his last wishes but it feels like I will be saying goodbye all over again . Life is so cruel as 6 months ago he was fit and well and we were making plans about what to do for our second year of retirement . I cry every day but try not to do this in front of my married daughters as this upsets them and they think I am not coping and need to see a dr. I know this is normal from reading other posts but they don’t understand as their loss is different to mine . I have his picture by my bed have you tried placing favourite pictures around the house? I do this and sometimes I cry for England but others I sit and tell him what has happened that day . The evenings are the worst as there is no discussing tv programmes or the latest news and any talking sometimes for 12 or more hours . Don’t feel guilty about still missing him and being an emotional wreck I am still at that stage and why not ? After we have all lost a very special person just take it one day at a time . Sending you a hug x

I lost my wife in June and even now it still seems like a dream it is so painfull isn’t it

Hi Julie

So sorry for your loss. Today is two months for me and I seem to be struggling through the days. If anything it feels like it’s getting worse as it sinks in more and more that Peter will not be coming home. Does it get easier at 3 months? Do you feel much different from when you were 2 months? Xx

Hi Jan

I know how you feel, I feel exactly the same, everyone else’s life seems “normal”. I just want my “normal” again. I also feel lonely even though I’m surrounded by so much love, and even though I sense Peter is near sometimes. I also can’t imagine my life without him, so I have to take each day because otherwise it’s too unbearable. So sorry for your loss x

So sorry for your loss. It is so painful to lose the one you love. Really struggling. Hope you’re ok.

Thank you I am struggling the same as we all seem to be I hope you are doing a bit better

My beloved died almost 13 weeks ago. It is hard and painful. I said in an online post that I was just going day to day. The following is a reply from a friend. " Y’know, I think that’s all you can do. Flow one day into another until time wears the edges off your grief, and turns it into something smooth and weighty in your palm. It almost becomes like a prayer stone - rounded by your constant touching and exploring of its edges. Trust your gut and feel whatever comes as it comes."
Peace to you…Heather

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Hi Heather

Thank you for passing it on. I’m so sorry for your loss x

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Hi Jackie. I’m 6 weeks. My husband died suddenly on a dive whist in Greece. I was in shock but that has faded and now I am coming to terms with the magnitude of my loss. But one thing that gets me through and has stopped me from falling into a heap is the friends we shared. I was lucky and the divers we knew have really been there to support me and I’ve let them. I need them. My life is in disarray and chaos but the love of my friends is a godsend. I try to keep busy and try to get out. I find great joy in helping others and I am so conscious that I’m not the only person going through trauma. It’s easy to get into an introverted bubble at times like these. I’ve found the most comfort by reaching out to others. I hope we can all push on and find some solace and joy down the line. I try to focus on the good things I still have. My health, my friends, my family, my job, my future. I can’t waste my future. I feel like I owe it to my husband to make it count and do all the things we dreamed of. It’s so hard…this site has really helped me to realise I’m not alone in this x here’s to tomorrow being kind to us x

Hi Liz

So sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for your reply. It must have been terrible to have happened on a dive, but you sound very positive and strong. I’m 16 weeks now and only just started feeling a little bit stronger. I still break down every day. I miss Peter so so much and the old life we shared together. You are right, we have got to try our hardest to get on with our life but it will just take a long time. I knew my husband for 50 years, we were married for 45. It’s really good you’ve got true friends and family around you. So have I and I thank God for them everyday. Take care, Jackie x

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