Hello, I joined yesterday but couldn’t write anything. So here I am tonight. I lost my husband on 10th December within 24 hours of him being taken to hospital. We’d been together 11years and married nearly 3. We did everything together, we loved each other so much, everybody new as neither of us shyed away from admitting our feelings for one another in front of our friends. We’d both been married before and escaped bad relationship’s which made us treasure our relationship even more. I’m grieving so bad, I can’t cope with it. I try and hide it away from my two sons as much as I can because they have their own grief to cope with. I hide my tears, I try to keep as busy as I can to distract myself but it just prolongs it. I absolutely don’t know how I’m going to get passed this, even just enough to get back to work and the thought of seeing my colleagues who will be very sympathetic and then set me off again and then step back in to my classroom and face my students. Especially when they all start asking if I had a good Christmas. What do I do…lie and say yes to pass the conversation elsewhere? I just feel totally lost, completely devastated, empty inside and see no way to make this pain disappear. My husband’s brother and family have been just awful, which is adding pressure. Please please can anyone advise me 
oh karenlouise im so sorry for your loss… i know myself that the “im sorry” doesnt wash or make you feel better… dont lie about how u feel… be honest… reach out to those around you and let them know how u are feeling… i bottled my grief up and made out i was ok… i wasnt and it prolonged my healing process. embrace those around you x
if i learnt anything in my process… it will get ugly before it improves… let down your guard if that works for u xx
I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my husband on the 30th November…he was 35, we have 2 children 5 and 7…its a struggle, sending you a big hug xxxx
Firstly you need to give yourself time Karenlouise. Your devastating loss is so recent that you’ll still be in denial part of the time. You won’t be able to believe it has really happened.
It’s hard but you honestly just have to take a day at a time. Be kind to yourself, grieve for your massive loss and slowly try to come to terms with what has happened.
It’s so sad for you that your brother in law and family have been awful.
Hard as it must be, you’ll just have to try to rise above their strange behaviour.
Please take care of yourself xx
JaneyS … that message touched my soul xx beautifully written from the true heart xx I have days where I hurt so much but I know I still gotta get on … it’s the keeping occupied and busy that’s changed the grief for me … I look at my children now and no longer feel the sadness I did because he’s no longer here… I see him in their eyes and I know he’s always here with me regardless … they are him and me and they are what matters now x
Hi Karenlouise. I am so sorry for your loss. If it is any comfort to you my feelings are very much the same as yours. On the outside I paste on a smile and on the inside I am sad and heartbroken and I never know what to say when people ask me how I am. My Husband’s closest relatives were two nieces and two nephews and only one of them has actually acknowledged that he has passed away and I think that is because she wants me to sell his house to her on the cheap . Lots of us on this forum feel the same way as you do. Take care and stay strong x