My husband passed away only 9 days ago. He had battled cancer for nearly 9 years. He was only 53.
I dont know how to carry on without him, in his last few weeks he was bedbound and i looked after him by myself.
The pain i feel is all consuming, its the worst pain ive ever felt.
I sometimes feel that theres no point in carrying on, but i have 2 children ( adult) and i wouldnt want to put them through the pain that i feel.
The days are so long, as soon as i wake up im looking forward to bedtime so the day is over. I know its ok to cry, which i do constantly, but i cant cope with it all.
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i wish i could give you a magic wand to make this pain go away i lost my husband of 47 years six weeks ago and yes its very hard but i know deep down we will do our best every day and we will miss them for ever but you just keep going in the hope that they are watching us and hoping that we are not sad all the time thinking of you
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Im so sorry for your loss @Sal74
It is such early days for you. You are so raw at the moment. But I do know exactly how you feel.
I can’t tell you that the pain will go away but you will gradually find you are starting to cope. No I wouldn’t have believed it if anyone had told me that at the beginning.
But you just need to take it day by day, hour by hour if necessary. Reach out to family and friends and keep posting on here.
Everyone on here understands. We are all going through the same heartbreak
Sending you love, hugs and strength
Liz x x
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Hi @Sal74
I’m so sorry you have lost your husband and for all the pain you are feeling.
I completely understand how you feel and I have nothing to offer that will help that pain except to let you know you are not alone, this community understands and is a safe place that you can share all you are feeling. There is lots of support on offer and people who will listen and understand.
You are so young to have lost your husband ( I’m 52 ) and you are right, your kids need you as their mum more now than ever - even if they are grown.
Hold on tight and be kind to yourself - it can be a bumpy ride this grief. Keep posting on here if it helps.
Sending love and strength to you xx
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Hi ya. Like others have said. I wish I could wave a magic wand and the pain inside would go away. Grief is a horrible word and road to travel along. I lost my Kev almost 9 months ago but remember coming on here not long after he passed away. It was unexpected and very sudden. He went in for a simple procedure and never came out. I never thought I would be where I am now. I have now accepted he isn’t coming back and it’s tough, heartbreaking every word you can think is grief. Please be kind to yourself. I promise in time we will all learn to live with this pain, I don’t believe it will ever go away but we will learn to accept it, it’s part of loving that special person unconditionally. We are the lucky ones to have found this love to be grieving so hard. Xxx
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I lost my husband in may this year I feel the exact Same getting out of bed is so hard I Can’t sleep we was married 24 years being together 25 in august he was the
Love of my life my soulmate I hope you find this group helps you always here to listen to anyone i will try to help if I can
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Yes I lost my husband 6 weeks ago. This is the hardest thing to go through. Keep posting. We support each other and we all know what it feels like.
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Hi i lost my husband Gra on the 17th june thecachevthe lonilness the pain is so intense. I long forbthe pain when i feel like a nirmal person instead ofbthis mess i am now. I have never been alone before and it terrifies me . Xxx
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hi my husband passed away six weeks ago also with cancer i i tend to manage during the day and every night i speak to Davy and tell him about my day but tonight i had to speak to my sister as i just miss him so much and couldnt stop crying this is the worst feeling but i know sometime in the future we will get their and try to build a life not the one we ever wanted but the one we have been left with i was married to davy for 47 years
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It does get better i promise you just take it easy time is a great healer im 11 months and just felling stronger…it will come be kind patience and look after you xx
I am hoping you are all right about it getting better. The pai. Is so intense the ache unbearable. I long for my old life back but i know thats never going to happen. Xxx
Thanks for the words of encouragement @Sunset2023
At the moment it feels like there is only sadness and loneliness in he future but in time I hope I will find some of myself again at some point in the future as I feel completely lost.
I have my fingers crossed we all do soon. The future looks very bleak at the moment. Xxx
Morning everyone. The weather here (west mids) is so awful, so depressing. To make it worse I’m off work today. Far too much time to think and dwell on my life without my Kev. We are all on that journey in the same boat along the unknown sea. Sorry I just had to put my feelings down as it’s driving me crazy today with emotion, crying, loneliness, heartbreak and ultimately feeling sorry for myself I guess. Red swollen eyes is now part of my face everyday. Why, why is all I’m asking today and I’m angry. It’s been 9 months next Tuesday and it feels like it’s just happened all over again. I have friends, family (I’m fortunate) but I don’t want to keep putting my grief onto them and breaking down every time I speak with them they too are grieving for what we have all lost. Kev was so positive and happy I can heard him now. He would be saying come on now, it will be ok you will see. I’m glad he isn’t the one suffering this pain. But when will it get easier. Some days I’m ok and cope but not today it’s crashed down on me like a massive black cloud. I do hope your all having a better day. Xxx
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Six weeks for me, too. Some days are worse than others. But there are always those sneaky rabbit holes that I fall down when I least expect it. There have been a couple of those this morning. We all have husband or wife shaped holes in our lives here.
I don’t expect that any of us will get over it, but hopefully we will learn to live with it. Being able to read other people’s thoughts is comforting, if only to learn that what we are feeling is normal.
Xx
Two weeks today for me. I am wandering around the house talking to my husband telling him about my day but he just doesn’t answer. He had a stroke then seven weeks later had another after an error was made with his medication. He worked so hard on his physio exercises to try and get his left side moving again he was desperate to get home. Just so stressed trying to arrange his funeral everything seems surreal.
Mine is 22 days i keep asking why, but there are no answers . Gra went into hospital the first time due to sephis from ulcers on his leg which the district nurses do properly. He was put on end of live but suprised them all and pulled through. He came home from hospital in an hospital bed. They classed him as medically fit but he was full of fluid. A week and half later he was back in hospital again . They tried him with fursomide but it never worked, so once again he was put on ennd of life. The following Sunday he died of heart failure. I hate Sundays because every time he went in it was a Sunday. A week to the day my 13 year old yorkshire terrier died. Crap isnt it. Xxxxx
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Two weeks ago today my wonderful husband passed away. Visited the Funeral Directors this morning to confirm some details. I cannot get my head around the fact that this is real and I’m having to do this for him. Came home and totally “lost the plot”. Sat on the settee and sobbed. I hate reality. He loved cooking and he loved the garden. We had a small summerhouse built last year which he loved. How can I face sitting in the garden or the summerhouse without him. 
. At the moment I am struggling to see the point of anything. I am told it will get better but the thought of spending however many years I have left without him is practically unbearable.
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Awww Harriet my heart is with you. Mine is just over 3 weeks and there seems very little point in anything anymore. I just cry and wander around totally lost .xxxx
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Harriet I feel for you and have exactly the same thoughts myself. I have a lovely family and a good friend but my Ken was everything to me and it’s hard to see a reason for going on. Trouble is we have no choice.
I think you’ll find we all have these feelings. This is a good place to come because we know how you feel. Talk to us and share your troubles. We’re all in it together.
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