Nicola

Losing a child
1

New here. I lost my youngest daughter (Nicola 27) last year. She had a brain tumour but it wasnt really the tumour that killed her. After the operation to remove it she developed swelling on the brain. During a second operation to reduce the swelling she developed blood clots. They gave her blood thinners which caused a massive bleed on her brain. Thats what killed her. She actually died 5 days after the second operation. She had been complaining about headaches for years but her gp said it was “just migraines”. If the gp had taken her seriously the tumour would have been discovered when it was smaller and there would have been far less chance of complications. Not only do i feel devastated that she has gone but i feel such anger towards the NHS as i am sure the final outcome could have been avoided. There was an investigation and the NHS closed ranks and said it was unavoidable. Grief and anger is a bad combination to deal with.

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Hello @Ladybird1963,

I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter Nicola that brings you here.

You say you’re feeling devastated and angry, so I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.

  • Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.

  • The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.

Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Seaneen

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