New here. I lost my youngest daughter (Nicola 27) last year. She had a brain tumour but it wasnt really the tumour that killed her. After the operation to remove it she developed swelling on the brain. During a second operation to reduce the swelling she developed blood clots. They gave her blood thinners which caused a massive bleed on her brain. Thats what killed her. She actually died 5 days after the second operation. She had been complaining about headaches for years but her gp said it was “just migraines”. If the gp had taken her seriously the tumour would have been discovered when it was smaller and there would have been far less chance of complications. Not only do i feel devastated that she has gone but i feel such anger towards the NHS as i am sure the final outcome could have been avoided. There was an investigation and the NHS closed ranks and said it was unavoidable. Grief and anger is a bad combination to deal with.
Hello @Ladybird1963,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter Nicola that brings you here.
You say you’re feeling devastated and angry, so I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.
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Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.
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The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.
Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
I am so sorry for your pain. I lost my daughter Lauren aged 41 on 26/11/24 she had a spontaneous intracranial haemorrhage She had been going to her gp on and off for years with headaches and was always taking solpadene. He said she had high bp, she claimed it was white coat syndrome and nothing was ever followed up.
The intracranial haemorrhage might not have been caused by high bp but could have been. I drive myself mad with what if I had made her fill in a bp monitoring sheet, what if if showed consistently high bp and then I had dragged her to the gp and she had been put on tablets, she might not have died. But I will never know. Instead i live with the guilt.
Please keep talking to us.
We are all parents who are broken hearted.
Yes i have spent a lot of time thinking of all the things i feel i should have done. We are supposed to protect our children and i feel like i failed. Hindsight is always 20/20.
I know how you feel I also feel like I have failed as a mum because I have not protected my daughter.