Night before funeral

Losing a parent
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Hi all, is it normal to feel really scared and anxious the night before the funeral of my mam? I’m really scared for some reason and feel nervous I could almost run away and not attend tomorrow, any advice would be really appreciated

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Yes. I had anxiety at least the two nights before my dad’s service. Just hold tight. It will be OK. I actually didn’t want my dad’s service to end, because I wanted to stay there all day celebrating my wonderful dad :heart:.

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Thanks @Burgled, it’s bloody awful what we are all going through. It’s reassuring what you have said. Hope you are ok and doing better xx

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@Ab12 hi, yes its absolutely normal to feel like this. I was dreading it. It went ok but I was very relieved when it was over to be honest. Try to get some sleep if you are able, think only nice memories you have and I know it sounds awful but try to stay strong. I’m sending warmest hugs and hope tomorrow goes as well as it can. xxx

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Thank you @Ola13
I’m trying to just think happy thoughts and stay strong, sounds awful but I just want it over and done with so I can focus on my emotions, thank you for reaching out it means a lot xx

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I can understand wanting it to be over and done with. It’s a big ordeal to plan and attend, so soon after a loss, especially if that loss was unexpected.

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@Ab12 yes I know exactly what you mean darling . Only after the funeral you can start grieving properly, until then its just running around sorting it out and waiting for it to happen. Will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

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@Burgled
It was so sudden one minute she was talking to me the next minute she was dead and couldn’t bring her back, the run up has kept me occupied and busy now it’s like it’s ending and becoming real xx

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@Ola13
It really is hard as you just plan everything then it all stops it’s like they’ve died again. Thank you, I’m hoping it’s an ok day and will stay strong xx

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I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. Sending courage :yellow_heart:. Don’t worry about being strong. Everyone there will understand your heartbreak :broken_heart:.

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Yes, don’t worry, I think everyone is the days before. I was very anxious, but it went better than I thought it would. I just wanted it done, though, because I didn’t want a funeral at all (I wanted him alive). You can do it and it’s ok to cry if you need to. Thinking of you tomorrow. :heart:

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Hi @Ulma
That is exactly how I feel, I want her to be alive and not attending her funeral, I sometimes wish I had chose a direct cremation so I didn’t have to attend but I think at least this way I get a chance to say goodbye and show how much she was loved. So sorry for your loss and hope you are ok xxx

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Thank you. To gather together for a ritual can be helpful after a loss and I hope it will be a beautiful ceremony. Hugs. :people_hugging:

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That was exactly how I felt with my Dad - at the end of the beautiful service close family stayed in the service hall with my Dad for a while and I didn’t want to leave him

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It is definitely normal to feel such anxiety before saying goodbye to such a cherished loved one. My Dad passed away after a very short illness in November and we had to wait nearly six weeks for his service, with Christmas in the middle of the wait. I was dreading it but you end up kind of looking in from the outside and you do get through it. It was lovely to see so many friends and family (he was 92 and so many people came, I was so touched by this) who wanted to celebrate his life. The service was beautiful and he would have been so proud of everyone being there to say goodbye, share his favourite music and he would have smiled at the funny stories during the tributes. Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself tomorrow. You don’t need to hold anything back and cry if you need to and whenever you need to, its a natural reaction to such a sad and stressful time. Try and think, if you can, of all the beautiful memories during the service - that helped me a lot. Sending lots of gentle hugs for tomorrow and beyond. Your Mum will always be with you in your heart

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I can so relate to this, i didn’t sleep the night before my dads funeral, just wanted everything to be perfect for him( apparently it was), i just didnt want to believe that was it :pensive: :broken_heart:.

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Just thought I’d update, the funeral was much better than expected, I shed a little year but honestly felt much better as it has gave me a bit closure saying goodbye, the service felt right and sun was shining. I now feel I can learn to cope each day without my beautiful mam as I know she’ll be in my heart forever. Hope everyone is ok xx

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Thanks for the update. Glad to hear it went well. Hugs!

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Hi @Ulma
Got to admit it was the support and advice of everyone on here that got me through it :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Fantastic. :hugs::heart: