Hi Topsy
This ‘friend’ obviously hasn’t ever been in such a position as you. It’s not just the mental pain it’s the physical as well. I haven’t felt too well this last few days and that has made me even worse as I can’t get out or burn myself out as I usually do and I’m not used to feeling unwell. I don’t feel like smiling some days and I hate it in the shops when they say ‘Have a good day’. I was to scream at them. One woman in the line even told me to not look so miserable and started telling me about her ailments. when I was trying hard not to break down in the first weeks after my husbands death. I don’t think they mean to be unkind they just have no idea at the pain we are in. Having to stay in the last couple of days is giving me time to think and it’s something I don’t want to do. I also don’t feel like the same person, I’m just a shell going through the motions of trying to live a life. I do hope that we will all one day come through this nightmare and perhaps be able to help others just starting out of the road of grief. Take care xxx
Hi Pattidot.
Thank you for replying. I’m sorry to hear you haven’t been well lately. You are right about staying in gives you time to think. That’s what I find. Once you start it’s hard to stop. People maybe as a whole don’t mean to be unkind but I felt my friend was irritated by my misery. In fact I know she was. She was quite critical about how I’m presenting and apparently her husband thinks I should help myself more. I feel like saying “just you wait until it happens to you and we’ll see how you cope.” However, i don’t but the urge is there. I don’t want to lose her friendship as I have known her for over 25 years and all I have for support are friends. She is one of the ring anytime day or night brigade. Hiow did I ever end up like this?
It’s unbelievable that total strangers can make such personal remarks as you experienced. Obviously thick and totally insensitive with no awareness whatsoever.
I too hope we get through this nightmare. A chink of light would be most welcome but I’m not there yet.
I hope you improve physically so you can get out and about again.
Take care. Xxx