Night Time

I’ll send a few messages to D, read the same old rubbish on my phone, try to watch tv and then comes the point where you try to sleep.

Does anyone else get the most vicious bout of loneliness?

We had our own wee routine, I’d say night gorgeous and tell her I loved her. She’d ask how much, I’d say ‘mills’ (millions), and I’d get back ‘how many mills?’

Our awful patter must sound nauseating to others, I don’t care, I loved every single second. At 12:30 tomorrow I’m going to spend time with her - I’m nervous.


Hi, I’ve read your posts recently about how you’ve suddenly lost the love of your life, and at such a young age too. My heart goes out to you, you’ve come to the right place here. I lost my husband suddenly two years ago and I can honestly say that sharing your pain with others who are going through the same loss will give you strength to go on. Our loved ones will always be part of us, they will live on through us as we are what we are because of the love we shared with them, and nothing will take that away from us. If you look through other topics on this site there are discussions about “Continuing bonds” and I find that this way of seeing my grief is giving me comfort and helping me make it through each day.
Take care of yourself.


Thank you, off to look just now.


I apologise for not being precise, but the name of the topic was actually “Grief journey”, under the main topic “Losing your partner”. You can go to the search option and type “Grief journey”.

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Hi @ARDG I found going to sleep painfully lonely. I have a couple of glasses of wine in the evenings which helps me to drift off (I’m not suggesting you use this method) I was offered sleeping tablets but I was scared at the thought of taking them and needed something to soften the harsh reality.
I text Miles all day long, every morning I say good morning and every night I say good night and ask him to come and see me in my dreams.
Sending you lots of strength for tomorrow. I saw Miles the day before his funeral and it was the best decision I could have made, it made the last image I have of him less traumatic and although the image I have of finding him is still SO powerful, I can know that I saw him resting peacefully. I ended up going back the next day before his funeral too so that I could see him again for the last time.
My father in law came with me the first time, he didn’t want to see him but came to support me and said he saw my face had “softened” when I came out of the room.
I hope that reading this brings you some reassurance (not sure if that’s the right word or not but…)
It was a huge help for me and I hope that it will be for you too.

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I went earlier today to see Dawn and I’m unsure how I feel about it just now in all honesty. At times it was nice to be in her presence, other points incredibly upsetting, though as I left I did promise I’d see her again on Monday.

I know what you mean on last image, that point was all so frantic and desperate as I begged that she didn’t leave me. Today was different, she looked peaceful, though it didn’t feel like I was looking at the girl I adore.


I’m so sorry - I thought that your message was from today :woman_facepalming:t3:
Of course, it is incredibly upsetting seeing them in that way but like you say, it was nice being with them again (albeit not how we want it) and I think that’s what I tried to focus on.

Honestly, don’t worry about that.

I tried to focus on the same, so much I wanted to say, but so hard to remember everything in that moment.

I went to see my H for the last time. He looked as tho he had just fallen asleep. I was glad I did because he looked so I’ll in hospital. It all still seems so unreal at times and I miss him desperately. I will take him with me on my journey until I see him again. Xx

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