Night time

8 weeks since my darling husband passed and I’m still not sleeping well. I dread evenings as that was our time together. I don’t like going to bed as he’s not there and I know that I wont sleep, so put it off as much as possible. And then knowing that in the morning, if I do manage to get some sleep, that I get to relive it all over again.

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I’m 2 weeks in but I certainly identify with you

I can only offer you love and hugs and tell you you’re not alone

Liz x

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Me too, I feel your pain. It’s so hard going to bed on your own. When you used to go to bed with your husband. I dread the night time. It makes you realise how alone you are. :hugs:

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Sorry I’m 12 weeks in, not 2, although to be honest sometimes it feels like 2.
I still can feel what you’re going through.

Big hugs x

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I keep looking over at my his side of the bed in the hope he may be there and it was all just a bad dream. I totally understand what you mean.

Sleeping and eating huge challenges.
Lack of sleep was impacting on my grieving so I had a few sleeping tablets from the GP.
I’ve been awake since 4 am but I am starting to get some natural sleep . I am 7 months into my loss.
I have his duvet over me that he had over him when he died. I need it close to me .
The empty space alongside me not hearing him breathe destroys me . I’ve only just started opening the bedroom window and leaving the bedroom door slightly open.

My grandson gave me his soft toy dog to keep me company at night I cuddle it.
I wear my husband’s pyjamas .
I write in a journal most evenings before I put out my light , I talk to my husband in my writing to try to close my day as we would have together to try to help me with my distress and help me to at least rest even if sleep won’t come.

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It’s horrible being unable to sleep. And feeling like you’re probably the only person in the world who is awake. I remember it well. And, of course, when you’re tired everything is even more difficult to cope with. I took a slightly different path than some. I completely changed our bedroom; new decor, new furniture, new bed (chosen because it’s perfect for me) and gorgeous bedding. It’s a million miles from ‘our’ bedroom now. It’s mine and I love it. I go to bed happy and sleep just as well, if not better, than before. And I have lots to occupy me in the daytime too so I’m physically tired which is good. Having a boring book to read in the small hours helped me in the early days. And podcasts eased the feeling of being alone. The sleepless nights were a quiet time to plan the rest of my life too. Because my life is in front of me full of possibilities and that’s exciting…

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Im the same, struggling to sleep. Im on sleeping tablets, but still, my sleep is broken. I wake up thinking it’s all a nightmare at first, but then realising it’s all real! It feels like it most days, and if it wasn’t for my daughter, i would be completely alone. She’s been so kind to me, and she’s dealing with her own grief as he was her stepdad, but she thought of him like a real dad… But my husband has left so many lies for us to deal with. Im drowning in it. It’s been 6 weeks today since he suddenly died. I’m no further forward, and now im more confused over why he lied and why he didn’t make any provision in his will for me and never left our kids anything. They are not biologically his kids, but they’ve known him 13 years, and they thought of him like a dad. He has one son from a previous relationship who is totally void of feeling and is pure evil! I dont say that lightly. I just dont know how my husband could think it was right to give him all his assets after what he’s done. There seems to be no justice in the world. I used to believe evil people would one day get Karma, but now i think the evil people seem to thrive and get everything ! Life is so cruel! :face_exhaling: :hugs:

One of my friends say that this living is Hell, and then we go to Heaven.

It is like a living hell. But we just have to carry on, taking one day as it comes. Only time will heal our grief. Hugs xx