It’s three months now since my husband passed zway, we were married for 45 years, I miss him so much and the loneliness I feel is overwhelming, How can I move on with my life without him?
At three months I still was hopefull it was a bad dream and in he would walk with his John Wayne swagger.
At just over 11 months I am still hopefull but in reality I know this will never happen. I dont look at my past, I dont want to see a future so I live each day as it comes. I dont expect much of myself but I do what I fancy doing depending on the moment.
Its a strange life now, not being alone because I have family but there is a lonlieness now that no one can fill. I believe this will always be so, so I have to work around it so not to let it consume me. I find not thinking and just doing helps me. People say work through the emotions but I dont have the strength to take the pain so I block it off. This is my only way to cope.
We all cope in our own way. Finding that way is a long process but it does happen in your own way.
It does still feel so surea
I think in the beggining we just want it to be as it was. We know it cant be but, but ,but.
There is no getting around it. We realise this it it now and the sadness, emptieness and lonlieness just keep reminding us of what we no longer have.
But it does eventually ease off and the moments of I can do this start to happen. Its a slow process and there are often setbacks but hopefully you will find some strength so that you can get some peace from the madness.
Thank you for your understanding and encouraging words. I am struggling every day and hope every tomorrow the tears will stop the pain ease. I know my darling David isnt coming back , but I still look at the door hoping he will .