My friend and also work colleague found happiness in her life with the most wonderful man. They were like the fairyale romance and love each other so much. However, on his way to meet my friend, this wonderful man passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on his journey (in public) to meet her. She was devastated, and of course mourned the chance she didn’t have, to say goodbye. His family are split in two, a loving kind part, and a …well, nasty part. Unformtunately the nasty part of the family took control of the funeral arrangements, and it was a few weeks before the funeral was arranged. My friend wanted to say good bye at a funeral. THis man was well respected and loved by many in the community; he worked for a charity, and he worked at the hospital, so on the day of the funeral, many people lined the route to the crematorium.
The time for his funeral came and went… and cutting the story short, amongst much anguish and many tears, it was dicovered that the 'nasty ’ side of the family had told eveyone the day and time of the funeral but had actually had this wonderful man cremated the day before, in an unaccompanied service.
I am appalled by this and find it beyond belief that people could want to cause so much additional grief.
Obviously my friend just wanted some closure on her beloved partner’s death, only to have the chance taken away. She doesn’t know what to do but is taking one day at a time.
I find I am feeling such deep deep sorrow for this lovely lady.
There is nothing to be done about it, I know; the family won’t even release his ashes for her to have a piece of jewellery made. It has helped just writing this out, but I feel her pain, and I don’t know how to deal with it, really. I know time will help, but it’s all so awful just now.
He passed in June. Thank you for listening.
Lanntrene, what a dreadful thing to happen. I have never understood but death does bring out the worst in those left behind but your friend must be devastated. The only thing you can do is be there for her and let her talk and cry. I feel so very sorry that in today’s life people can be so thoughtless and uncaring. Please give her big hugs from us all on here and we will be thinking of her. Bless you for caring. S xx
It’s wonderful that she has a true friend in you. I know it’s really painful for you too but she’ll feel somehow that you’re with her in her grief and that will help, even if it doesn’t seem to. x
Hi, What a lovely caring friend you are. I’m in a similar situation as your friend. I lost my daughter the day before her 40th birthday. She was taken by ambulance under amber alert just before midnight, she was unable to do simple tasks and couldn’t speak In sentences and struggled to understand any questions. She had been projectile vomitting for 3/4 days, couldn’t keep plain water down. She was found dead on the street about 8am the following morning. We thought she had walked out of the hospital and walked home. I made an appointment with chief inspector in January, almost 6 weeks since she died. He said you do know that she didn’t walk home, the hospital discharged her and rang her a taxi because someone had given her the money for one. She left at 7.15 and was found dead within an hour. The police told us not to expect an inquest as they’re not treating it as suspicious, they hadn’t even moved her body off the street. Toxicology and the post mortem came back negative, we have no cause of death. Our Right to see her was taken away from us and her clothes I took for her were returned to us. The funeral director said he was really sorry about it but her body came with instructions that they had to follow, we haven’t yet found out who that person was who issued those instructions. I spent the whole of her funeral looking at her coffin, wondering what she had on because we were told that they cut her clothes off her. The last year of my daughter’s life was Horrific and I fought every day for her, she was a vulnerable adult who was treated really badly by the people she should have helped her, not one of them who had a duty of care towards her did anything constructive to help her and all of them failed her. Her body was treated in death in exactly the same way she was treated in life, we as a family have been treated in the same way. Not one person including the police named my daughter. I did an article for the telegraph 4 weeks after she died to let people know. We’re not being kept up-to-date with the investigation, the officer in charge of it is ignoring our calls and everything we ask the coroner, were told to contact the police officer in charge. It’s a disgrace. We have no access to any legal help because we’re fighting authority and the authority have the upper hand. I’m still fighting for her because I know I’m right, I have the evidence I need to carry on and I promised my daughter that I wouldn’t stop and I intend to fulfill my promise to her. My daughter might not have meant anything to them but she meant the world to me. We were told that the only funeral slot was Xmas Eve, whether that was done deliberately to annoy us further, we’ll never know, but it was perfect for us, a great reminder every year for those who deliberately hurt her. Her funeral was perfect for her. Apologies for the length of this 
@Mell that sounds horrific, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Life can be so cruel. The not knowing must make your grief even harder to cope with too. I do hope you get some answers in time. Hopefully this group will give you some comfort, none of our paths through grief are the same, but we all have some understanding of how difficult it is to move forward after a bereavement. Hugs for you xx
Thank you Marylou for your kind words, I’m in the middle of a little project , it’s a little memorial in my garden, where I can sit and relax and remember the good times we had. It’s not quite finished yet but on a night time it looks magical. It’s not perfect and hasn’t cost me a fortune, most of the things were presents from family and friends for my 60th birthday in May. I know Emma would. have loved it and that’s all that matters to me. Take Care and keep safe 
That sounds perfect @Mell, and I’m sure you’re right, Emma would have loved it too. Magical at night…sounds amazing!
We did something in my garden too , to remember my mam. It helped me , to keep busy over the months since we lost her.
Look after yourself. Hugs for you xx
What goes around comes around. Karma is a bitch so the saying goes. One of them will one day lose their spouse. Then, if he or she has any emotion in them, they will know our pain. Have your friend take solace in that