no funeral

Still struggling that my nan didnt have a funeral. i know it was her wish, for me i found it very strange, went from her passing to receiving her ashes :broken_heart:. anyone experienced this. both my grandads and other nan all had funerals…

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Hello Chelle-luan, So sorry for your loss. I have known folks who chose not to have a funeral. One such person, a very close friend, preferred that people keep the image of when she was well and happy. She had cards made up to send to all of her friends and relatives with a personal message for each, and asked them to pick a special memory of a time they spent together or something she said that touched them, and keep that memory close to their heart. I understand this is not for everyone, but nonetheless I respected her wishes. We had a memorial bench erected in her memory and we gather there with flowers and balloons every year on the anniversary of her death. You may want to plan something to commemorate your Nan’s memory that will keep her memory alive.
Doing this is a way of working through your grief and will not seem so final as simply receiving the ashes. Xxx


Hi, Thank you for your lovely message,

i have a memory box and my nans ashes in a special trinket box and beside that i have a photo of my nan and i and also a vase to put flowers in such as anniversaries.


So sorry you’re still struggling.
Yes I have myself and my partner does not want a funeral. My partner passed away in November. I think I was very lucky to get such great undertakers… I had few days with him in the viewing room. Then I helped to close coffin put the cloth over my
Parters face and said good night . Then that day myself and my kids now young adults followed the van hearse to the crematorium. Had our final goodbye then watch him go in the back door. No service nobody there no fussing about we both agreed on this and our family know I wishes. We always said if you can’t visit me when we are living why come to when we pass. Possibly your gran felt the same no fuss also I know how hard a funeral is with strangers there you don’t even know and we did want our family to go through all this. Quite quick. We do have my partners ashes and it will only be us that goes to the grave to lay ashes again that’s what we want .
Some times our loved ones decision is hard for the family that’s left.
I would suggest you do some thing in memory for her yourself or with the family even ask for some ashes and say your own bye in your own way I’m sure she would love that much better just a little special good bye from you .
You can get lovely jewellery or tiny urns to put some in till your ready xx