No help

This is getting so hard losing my husband nearly a year ago then my dad who lived with me 4 weeks ago I’m still getting a councillor for my husband for one more week but they won’t carry it on it’s like we can’t lose people this close x

Hi Mandy,

I’ve read psychologists saying that it takes 12 months for huge life changes to lose their sting and then it’s a gradual thing.

I lost both my parents in the last 10 months so I’ve some understanding of how you feel. (I was their carer and geared my job and life around helping being nearby to help them so their lives were my sole purpose in many ways.)

We all grieve differently. I gave myself permission to feel miserable and to cry my heart out whenever I wanted - that was the way that suited me to help clear out the sadness.

From my experience, I gradually started noticing the world around me a bit more. Just baby steps but they felt like little green shoots you see in spring.

You sound like a wonderfully caring person and the fact you’ve shared your thoughts on here is a great start.

Mog :slightly_smiling_face:


You have my deepest sympathies and i really feel for you. May i ask, have you found counselling to be helpful in working through your grief?

Someone has suggested it to me but i am worried i cannot afford to go private and i don’t want to be on a waiting list for months .

Thank you in advance, take care

Bev x

I have found councillor very helpful but mine was free and I can’t afford to pay x

I think i may go down that route too. Its still very early days for me but i feel like talking really helps me and if i can find someone who is used to helping people in this situation then it will be beneficial.

Did you say that you’ve been affected by a second bereavement? Could you not make a new application for counselling but on the basis of new circumstances. Im sorry i dont really know how it works.


I think it works just got to wait for another place when it’s there x

Hi everyone, I noticed the discussion around counselling and it might be worth mentioning that Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. It’s free and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information here:

Another good place to get counselling support is Cruse Bereavement 0808 808 1677, email

Take care,

Online Community team

Thank you for this. I will look into it.