I’m finding it very difficult to cope with the loss of my mother and even though it happened a few years ago I still can’t accept that she is no longer with me! I feel I’m still in denial about everything and I have become more isolated and lonely then ever and just feel like I’m being ignored by everyone around me
It’s hurting me and I can’t get back on track and enjoy life anymore I feel like I’m in two minds most days and can’t enjoy life anymore
I have morbid thoughts and emotions about my own health and sometimes feeling like I no longer belong here in this life
My emotions are putting me in dangerous situations and sometimes I don’t care about what happens to me and behave recklessly by not avoiding danger
I don’t even know how I’m still here to be honest I didn’t think that I would be here two years later still suffering from this terrible depression and anxiety and the things that go with it like panic attacks and phobias
I no longer have a purpose in living because I’m totally alone and isolated with no family or friends I never envisaged that I would end up being in such a horrible situation
Hello @Numbersix74,
Thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. What you have described sounds so painful and difficult and I’m sorry you’re going through it.
Reading your post, I wondered if you have ever heard of complicated grief? Complicated grief is when grief doesn’t seem to change or shift at all. In complicated grief, you can find yourself ‘stuck’, perhaps unable to feel sad or cry, or perhaps you feel too sad to manage your day-to-day life.
We have a video about it here:
Does any of this resonate with you? If so, you might want to go back to your GP and see what they think.
Thank you for bravely reaching out to the community - you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
Hi, yes I can definitely relate to a lot of things mentioned in the video
I don’t take much interest in myself as I once used to do and as a result feel like I don’t deserve to feel like I’m human anymore! I can also relate to the feelings of feeling that I didn’t do enough to help my mother when she was in the hospital because there was issues with her being left in her room without anyone to assist her with her care and when I complained about how my mum was treated they stopped me from visiting her and this created so much anxiety and hurt for both of us as I was my mums caregiver for several years and that gave me a purpose in life which I don’t have anymore! Another sad fact is that I took it for granted that she would recover from her illness and get back to normal and I should have been more aware that she was very unwell and it was just wishful thinking on my part as I didn’t want to face up to the worse
I still feel like I should have done more or handled things differently than I did
Thanks for your reply and posting the video it was very helpful to me!
Kind regards