I lost my husband suddenly a week before Christmas. He was only 53. We were meant to be going to Cyprus next week to meet up with my parents. This July we were going to Majorca with a couple his best friend and my good friend. We both worked hard and didn’t see each other every day as I was a support worker and spent some nights away. In the early days my husband often worked away. It worked for both of us as the saying goes absence makes the heart grow fonder. We loved going on our holidays and spending quality time together. It breaks my heart that we never going to enjoy this time together ever again. It also breaks my heart that my husband will never see the sun again, or experience life again. I just can’t move forward from this. Life is so unfair and cruel.
@Hazel.1966 I have those thoughts running through my mind about the things my husband won’t experience again. Sometimes it’s just little ordinary things like taking the dog for a walk or feeding the fish in the pond (he loved his fish) or just eating or just sitting in the garden. I’m tormented sometimes with these thoughts then end up in tears. My head is all over the place. It’s awful … I think I know how you feel.x
@Hazel.1966 @Loobyloo2 .My husband Pete and i were due to go to Gran Canaria today. Instead we had his funeral yesterday. The reminder came up on my phone and sent a dagger through my heart. Yesterday was amazing, sad, happy and draining. Hundreds came and everyone said it was the best service they had been to. Today is the start of a different life for me. We loved holidays with our children and grandchildren but we treasured our time on holiday, just the 2 of us. I will so miss those, the planning, choosing our clothes and the excitement of getting to the airport. So many changes to navigate.
@Freefaller @Loobyloo2 life is so cruel and unfair… such a shit. We should of had another 25/30 years together. My husband was due to retire in 14 years time. He most probably would of retired early. We had so many plans ahead of us. My son is 22 and said that dad will never see any of his milestones in life. It not only the death of our love ones we grief for but our future plans and dreams.
So sorry that you both are going through this as well…big hugs xx
Reading that other people lost their husbands before I did I feel such a mixture really. It must be awful when they are too young to miss even more than my husband missed. He would have been 77 a few months before he died and I think he was cheated out of ten or twenty years more but then I hear of men dying 20 years before and his friends lived ten years younger even than ge did.
I can’t imagine a future at my age like if I had been younger and yet part of me thinks how lonely and yet people say I don’t look it but still I am.
@Enorac it is very sad as my son is only 22 and could of had another 30 years of his dad who died at the age of 53. I am 56 and feel all our future plans and dreams have been taken away from us. Any age is sad but guess if they go at a older age then they have lived most of their lives. Of course that doesn’t mean that you don’t suffer the incredible loss.xx
To be with someone for 54yrs is amazing these days and your loss and difference in your days is huge.
I had 16 years with my partner and he was 49. My pain is immense but I had years living alone before we met and two previous marriages. My partner showed me a love that was incredible and we loved each other so much. He was also a teacher and taught me a great deal, about myself and about everyday things. He was also a glass full kind of guy and funny. Often having me in stitches. In the time we had together he gave me an inner strength that is his legacy to me.
An inner strength that enables me to move forward.
But boy do I miss him and the future we had planned. I miss him every second of every day.
Before I net my husband I knew an incredible person but it couldn’t last because he wanted a very different life in the long run and anyway he was older than my father so we both moved on. He married someone else with a smaller age gap and he had the life he wanted and died when my parents did but wrote every Xmas. It was very different with my husband all those years and he was a true help all my life but we had our ups and downs. I am privileged to have the good times and yes dies make you stronger. I have my own family I wouldn’t have had if I had stayed with first one which lasted four years. Who always missed as well. Life isn’t straight forward.