When my dad passed away nearly 5 years ago, it shifted my mindset for a while and made me want to live my life to the fullest. 5 years on I haven’t done anything I’ve set out to do and feel like time is slipping away and now I don’t see the point in anything in day to day life. My dad died too young and it has given me a warped sense of time and I feel like I am running out of time always. Can someone let me know if they have experienced this too? I see people grabbing life with both hands when something like this happens which makes me just feel riddled with guilt that I am wasting this one life I have. I don’t feel motivated to do anything and seem to be sabotaging myself. Is this a normal part of grief, it still feels like no time has passed at all despite it being 5 years, and I feel like I am making wrong decision after wrong decision.
Hello @MDuck,
I’m so sorry that you feel like you are making wrong decisions and don’t feel motivated. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
Hi @MDuck . I suspect a bit of therapy might help. I recognise how easy it is to slip into self sabotage and procrastination. I hope this link might help you. The therapy I went to was Mindfulness, somewhat akin to CBT, but better. It stopped all the negative thoughts which were endlessly swirling around in my brain, and helped enormously in breaking that terrible habit. Good luck I hope it helps. https://www.verywellmind.com/why-people-self-sabotage-and-how-to-stop-it-5207635
Hi @MDuck . I suspect a bit of therapy might help. I recognise how easy it is to slip into self sabotage and procrastination. I hope this link might help you. The therapy I went to was Mindfulness, somewhat akin to CBT, but better. It stopped all the negative thoughts which were endlessly swirling around in my brain, and helped enormously in breaking that terrible habit. Good luck I hope it helps. https://www.verywellmind.com/why-people-self-sabotage-and-how-to-stop-it-5207635.
Furthermore, I kept giving myself a good kick up the bum, by thinking forward that when I’m old (er) and sat in a chair in a nursing home, I’d hate to cogitate and look back at how I wasted all the last years of my life, and I couldn’t go back and have another go. I’d rather look back and think that I’m proud of all the new things I’d done - and I am! I’m also having a lot of fun doing new things and meeting loads of new people.
I turned to music, I’m learning how to play musical instruments (the flute is recommended) and by joining a choir, and even this afternoon I’m joining a new group, and we are singing sea shanties. Maybe I should take a bottle of rum to make it go with a swagger 
Yes I agree giving yourself kick up the but.
Some people say do not be hard on yourself misunderstanding what I mean. I give myself a bit of tough love.
I need it. It usually works for a bit.
What I might say to someone else although that is often misinterpreted too.
Well I realised I was wallowing again. So I said get up and try.
Get up again try again. Bit like a baby learning to walk.