No one listens.

Does anyone else feel that people stopped listening to them from the moment they became bereaved? I find so often people just want to tell me what to do or push me into what they want to do. There is no asking what I want or listening to me explain my needs. I know I find it difficult to articulate how I feel at times but not listening to how I feel or what I need or think is hurtful and only make griefs harder. I sometimes feel I am invisible or that people think I’ve become stupid over night.
How does one deal with this without getting angry or totally distressed?


Hello @Ferret8,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.

Take good care,

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You need to sit them down and tell them what you want and how you feel, I think people make a lot of assumptions when in this situation


Oh yes i know that one only too well !!! Xx


You need to get it out there how you feel so you are less frustrated. I had a close family member say to me " you’ve lost weight" and I replied “yeah, it’s the grief diet”. I thought er, have you forgotten what’s just happened to me? I am borderline on the rude side so I need to watch it, but the point I’m making is that I’m not going to gloss over the fact that I’m going through hell to suit others, so get your truth out there!


Yeh but i do tell them and they dont listen !!! Xx

we humans are a strange and fickle bunch. I am sorry people are not kind to you. so many we yearn to be heard. but no one wants to listen. Samaritans has been so helpful to me. Also I have had counseling. it helped a lot.


Thank you for sharing. I think that sometimes I probably don’t tell people much about how I really feel. I think that I worry about being laughed at for still feeling sad or frustrated or lost or anxious now it is nearly two years since my husband passed.