No one to talk to now

My wife of over 40 years died in February 2023. She had bladder cancer for nine years and had her bladder removed last October. In December she was told that she was completely clear of cancer and she ws so pleased. However, in late January she had a heart attack and was rushed to hospital, were they managed to put a stent in and all seemed well. Then she developed breathing problems and passed away ten days later. Her funeral was two days before my 80th birthday and we would have been married 41 years in June. Life is so empty without her, I have no one to talk to or to share my thoughts with. I have no one to look after now and I find that so very difficult as I was her carer as well as she found it very difficult to manage due to arthritis. I can go for several days without seeing or speaking to anyone unless I go to the shops. We were unable to have a family so I feel so very lonely, despite having a cousin who lives nearby and friends I see quite often. I am thinking of moving to a retirement flat, if I can find one, but that is so stressful in itself. Fortunately I am able to look after myself but cooking for one is not much fun. So I really don’t know what to do next.


I am sorry for the loss of your wife. I can imagine moving is stressful. Sometimes, even though it is lonely, home can be of comfort. Probably much too soon, but joining groups may help.


@Mctavish - I am so glad you posted here - you have lots of friends right with you and able to keep you company in one way. I am so sorry that your wife has died - crikey, you were together a long, long time. Losing her must be like losing yourself. My husband died nearly 18 months ago, so I know a little of how you are feeling. A few thoughts on things to consider on what to do next. Firstly, The Silver Helpline is there for you, to provide chat, advice, ideas. The number is 0800 4 70 80 90 - might be worth a try. Secondly, I am not sure if you have room, but maybe consider, carefully of course, having someone younger to come and live in the house with you. You would have company and someone around - I have heard lots of stories where this kind of thing works out really well. There are agencies like this one who can advise and help you. Anyway, those are a few thoughts from me, your new friend on here. Hold tight, my friend, it will be ok x


I know exactly what u mean. I miss talking to my husband too. Somebody on same wave length as u , same age, similar life experiences ! Its so tough isnt it ? And i keep thinking about moving too ! But like you say that in itself is a stress we can do without at this stage . Take care and know we all understand on here xxx

1 Like