No One Will Ever Wear Your Shoes

Just before my Ron was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer I had written a poem. I never thought I would be reciting it at his funeral just over 16 months later. I thought I would share it with you.

                .   YOUR SHOES.

         I  lost you in a single breath
                  Consuming love
                    To deep bereft
       And every atom - every space
  . Just swallowed you without a trace
            And then I saw your shoes

            Side by side - a perfect fit
     In which your feet would neatly sit
   How hard I search - how deep I stare
                 For just one chance 
                  To see you there
                   Within your shoes
       But nothing - nothing can I see of you
           An old shoe lace - a mark or two
      But where are you in shape or form?
       Barefooted - lost and all alone?
                   Without your shoes.

            Upwards do I trace the air
     To feel your face and touch your hair
           Imagining you standing there
                     So rightly there

                   Within your shoes

          But what if - on some dusty rail 
    They stand at someone's jumble sale

14 months for me I think some days I’m getting there but where. My bad days still outweigh the good then when I’m ok ish I feel guilty do you feel like that. Love the poem. Like your husband pancreatic cancer took mine started with the bowels and spread all to quick. Sending love x

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thanks for sharing @Angiejo1. Hard to imagine you wrote that before experiencing this and now it’s so true x

I didn’t realise I had posted this poem or that I hadn’t typed it out in full when it was sent. I apologise for that. It was only half finished. I remember writing it out to send but not actually posting it. Just shows how grief just knocks us sideways.