Dear Trisha,
Thankyou for your reply. I have just returned from my sister who lives miles away from me. It was so hard going away from the house being it is the first time since my partner passed. I was made really welcome and the family were kind to me but the feeling of longing for him was so apparent. I went half hearted but it did give me a small break from the photos that surround me daily and all the memories. My head feels a little clearer now and I believe I had got to the stage where I really needed the break. Now I am back I am making myself go I have made a trip to the shop to look for a bed for my son and now about to go for a dog walk. You sound like me I am trying to keep busy to stop thinking but eventually it zaps your energy then you need a break perhaps that is what you need. When working for me I find it hard as I have a customer facing role, its no longer enjoyable as I find interacting with strangers so very difficult my passion for selling gifts has gone. I have decided I think I need to change my job but I am not sure I have the confidence to do that at this moment. I just feel a job working in the background with little hassle would help me right now. I still have paperwork to sort out from my partners passing which is a worry as it has not been straight forward. I find my concentration is impaired by this as I have lots of things going on in my head constantly and find it hard to switch off. It certainly is not easy, but I take one day at a time and I cope as best as I can. I try to keep the house up together as well but even doing this I feel takes motivation. Trisha I hope you have a better week.
Best wishes
Heart break