No space to grieve

27th Oct mum went in for a gall bladder stone removal, ended up pancreatis,thr on day 4 got told mums organs are failing, being by her side from 8am til 8pm daily until 16th at 9.15 am she passed with me ,i said a prayer and opened the window notified auxiliary, who went to get nurse ,10.40am i left after seeing no nurse nor offered a basic cup of tea.
Anyway im the youngest of 3 and we were ALLsexually abused, although the older sister helped wen he died ,took turns n sat in his company, myself and brother would only take mum ip (although i forgave him to pass over) .
Now said sister is blaming mum for allowing it ,only after hes dead ,as she visited him daily, my mum is an Elder in church and when it came out(by me) she said that god planned her life she too was raped and shared by him .
My sister moved into mums 2yrars ago and terrorised her ,77yr old at the time ,drinking and vile obscenities, but not once did mum say to me ,as her bed blah .
Now i told her mum passed and funeral on Friday, i got thanks? Im next of kin as mum did this only 6 months ago . What if she appears at funeral to cause a seen .HELP

Hello @Wendydoll ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling scared and unsure about the upcoming funeral. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Thankyou, i went through mums phone today and never realised how much resentment my sister had for me and my brother ,but thats a narcissus, its like shes my dad reincarnated,…and then the director advised me no confirmation has been made for after ceremony…then my brother asks when funds are going to be released, could curl into a ball :cry:

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