Yesterday I thought I was doing so well. On Sunday will be 6 months since my husband suddenly passed away. He was 53 years old.
Today I received a letter regarding my husband estate and a cheque from the tax office as my husband was working till the day before he died. I got a call from the doctor to say that I am anemic and will need to go to the hospital to have some tests. What saddens me is that my husband never got the chance to have his tests as was to late and he isn’t here to support me. I just want him back and hate this new life without him 
not fair.
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@Hazel.1966
I’m so sorry
Everything is just such rubbish isn’t it.
Nothing gets easier. It all gets harder .
I had to have a minor operation on my right hand on Tuesday. ( Two cysts on two fingers needed removing)
It’s just horrible not having my husband here with me.
He couldn’t have helped lots cos I had to do everything for him…but he’d be here, loving me…
Trying to do everything with one hand at moment and my weaker left hand is hard. ( Typing on here is taking ages and have to keep checking for mistypes!)
This morning I tried to get small bowl of cereal to eat. Put the Frosties and milk into bowl okay , carry in to front room on small tray to eat okay Sit down okay, try first spoon… tray tips up, frosties and milk every where, in me , on sofa , on floor, me in tears…
My dogs cleared it up before i had chance to think about how to do it with one hand!
Lots of love and hugs 
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Aw … its 6 months today for my husband … 
bless him ! Had a real old cry last night … i was out for a long time yesterday and think it was too much for me
I wanted to share this poem with you my friend and all the other people on here :
I miss you
Sometimes when i first awake
I think that youre still here
And for a fleeting moment the clouds all disappear
For you brought endless sunshine
Until you went away
And now i miss you desperately
Each minute of the day
You would not like to see me sad
So what i try to do
Is live a bright and happy life
In memory of you
For though I’ll always miss you
And its dreadful being apart
I havent really lost you
Youre still here in my heart
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Hi @Cathphil life just isn’t the same without our love ones especially when you need them the most. It is so unfair and I know that I would be turning to my husband for support and reassurance. I am sorry that you had to have your op alone. Hopefully you are having some type of support from a friend. Get better soon and big hugs xx
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Hi Deb’s have been thinking of you today and yesterday as I know you went to see your cousin. Hope you got on well. A lovely poem and so true. Big hugs xx
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Thank you
The worst part of the whole thing was coming round after the general anaesthetic , because the first person I thought of was Phil, and I forgot for a moment that he had died, then I remembered, and cried my eyes out
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Thanks @Hazel.1966 thats kind. i was emotionally exhausted last night though -had to have few brandys ! Probably tried to do too much - will make it shorter next time i meet her 
yes saw the poem this morning on facebook and felt it really spoke to me and us xxx
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That’s lovely and mirrors how I feel - my husband died from sepsis last October. Thank you
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@Hazel.1966 life is just rubbish without them . I too have to go to hospital for some tests. He would have reassured me and came along with me. Life is hard and 
without them. Xx
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@Jan17 it sure is awful without them. It is just not fair that we have been robbed of our future plans and dreams. I do hope that you get on ok with your tests and have some support from family and friends though not the same without your love one. Sending lots of love and hugs xx
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I only thought.about that a few months ago … it occured to me the other month he wont be here if i got poorly let’s just hope we all stay well enough for now anyway whilst we go through this awful period of mourning … fingers crossed xxxx
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Hi hazel , I am so sorry for you . I have to sort out my husbands tax return for last year . That seems so wrong when he’s not here . I worry the same as he was everything to me . He sorted everything and looked after me so much when I was ever ill
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