No support today

Had a very bad day thinking about my friend and no one has been around to help. That’s fine because they’ve all been at work but my sister comes home and I tell her how I’m feeling and she says she’s too tired to talk. I don’t normally reach out and I’m always there to help her whenever she’s feeling bad so this has only made me worse. I just have no way of coping here.

Hello Red
I just thought I’d drop you a line to say I hope you have managed to have a chat with someone since your post. It’s a shame your sister couldn’t talk at the time. You have been shouldering a great deal of sadness by the sound of it. When people stop talking its easy to start holding things in and withdrawing - you don’t want to be doing that.
I hope the weekend is kinder to you, there will always be someone here to have a talk to. I’m sending you compassionate thoughts, take care Red.

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Thank you so much for your message Tina. My mum came home and I told her exactly what was in my head, so I’ve been able to get out some of what I’ve been feeling.

I’m still feeling low and I know it’ll happen again, but for now I think I’ve cried it out. Having lost two people who I cared about within a space of a month, especially seen as I’ve never lost anyone before, has been a bit of a shock to the system. I don’t really know how to process it all, but I’m leaning into my emotions and I’m very glad I’ve found this forum.

I’m very grateful for your message, it was kind of you to reach out and say what you did. My thoughts to you too x

Thanks Red - keep going the best you can.

Have only just found this forum. Have never used something like this before but am completely desperate at the moment. I lost the love of my life two weeks ago today to lung cancer. My lovely lovely husband. He was 14 years older than me and I “expected” to lose him, but certainly not now and not to lung cancer (he never smoked in his life). The grief gets worse every day and I have no-one who really understands as none of my friends has been widowed. They are being kind, but I need to talk to people who know what this feels like.

Bulstrode I understand lost my hubby 6months ago and he was 12years older than me. Like you I expected to lose him just not yet, he was put on the top of the transplant list unexpectedly but sadly died 7weeks later. I miss him and like you non of my friends have been widowed, it’s hard but support on here is very good. Take care x

thanks so much for this. I so loved him and part of that was the fact he was older than me…maybe I have issues from my childhood but I felt so safe and loved with him. I knew I would probably lose him but when we got together he was only 47 and I was young and stupid and thought 20 years was a lifetime…it turns out it went all too quickly and here I am facing my worst nightmare.
So relieved to find this community…it really helps to read everyone’s story and realise I am not alone in facing this.

Like you he was 42 I was 29, we only had 24years not nearly long enough but 24 wonderful years where we made everything count, I am sure you will come to think this way. Some people on here have had a year others 50+ it’s not the length of time but the little love and memories that you packed into that time, treasure your memories and the twinkle in his eye lol going out with a younger woman, our age gap never bothered us he always said I was mature for my age and he was a big kid, we balanced each other out! Always said my hubby was my safe place, take care x

YES my husband was my safe place too. I have a demanding job in a very competitive environment (I am an academic, in a very sexist university department) and there is no way I could have done it without knowing he was always at my back. I just don’t know how I am going to live…I can’t imagine being single for the rest of my life (I’m 55 now)…but how could I possibly find someone I’d like to spend time with, after having had the joy of my husband? He was so perfect for me. I just don’t see the way out of this place I’m in now.
Do you have children?

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