I lost my Dad about 6 weeks ago. He had a fall and died 4 days later. I’m now living with my Mum on a temporary bases. She had a stroke 4 years ago. She doesn’t have good mobility and gets confused easily. I don’t have any other family so having to do everything myself.
As I’ve been soo busy, I feel I’ve not had the time to register and grief my Dad’s death. Also Mum is not wanting any outside help, which is making it harder for me to go back home and return to work.
I’m at a lose on how I’m to move on. I can leave my Mum until she gets outside help, but at the same time it’s effecting my mental health.
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I’m afraid I have no advice although it’s sounds as if I am in a similar situation to you. My Dad died on the 10th August after being diagnosed with cancer just 5 weeks before. He was my Mum’s full time carer as she has multiple chronic conditions. My partner is my carer but I have now found myself in a position where I’m grieving the loss of my Dad but now caring for my Mum whilst struggling to look after myself. My mum has just had 5 mini strokes within the space of 8 days & I am crumbling under the stress. I was already finding life difficult before my Dad’s diagnosis & my Dad was providing a lot of support for me. My mental health has been terrible & I have been in crisis twice.
I hope that you have a good GP & some support from friends. Do you have social services involved with your Mum & has she had an Occupational Therapy assessment? My Mum now has a personal alarm which she wears around her wrist which she can activate if she needs help when alone. I wish I could impart some wisdom on how to get through this but I am just taking life each day at a time. Look after yourself & keep going…
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Soo sorry to see what you’re going though. It’s a situation we think we’ve prepared for but really nothings prepares us to how it actully feels.
My Mum has always been reluctanted to except help even when Dad was here. It’s making the situation harder to deal with. She’s not been to our GP in over 2 years, so I’m in no mans land.
I was my Dad’s restbite, but i have no one. I’ve tried talking to her about how i feel, but she doesn’t really understand as she thinks being her daughters its my duty to look after her.