Today is the second anniversary of my lovely mums death. Nobody apart from my husband remembered. I feel so hurt. Last year a couple of close friends contacted me and remembered. This year nothing. I feel alone angry and very hurt. People probably think as it’s the second year it’s not important … I actually feel almost worse than the first year as I was in a numbed shock all last year. This has left me feeling my friends aren’t friends and nobody cares. I went to mums grave took flowers and felt comforted by that but I still am amazed that not even my close friends have acknowledged it.
You will by now have got through the second anniversary. I am sorry you are feeling worse and do agree that the first year goes by in shock. I am just past the first anniversary of losing my mum.
It is understandable that you feel alone and hurt by no one contacting you to acknowledge the day. For you the day is one you will of course never forget but for others they may not recall the date. I do not think this means your friends are being unsupportive, simply that for them it may not be a date they will forever remember? Most people seem to offer support in the first few months and then drift back to their own lives and I am sure I have done the same in the past.
Everyone understands here so keep posting x
I think some people, me included, are just hopeless at remembering dates. My mother died two years ago and I can’t remember the actual date. My wife died 16 weeks ago and I remember that date. My aunt died four weeks ago and I could work that date out but don’t actually remember it.
I’m grateful to my wife for keeping a Birthday Book as I have to admit that I can’t remember the date any of my kids were born or any of my grandchildren.
I can remember all sorts of other things from long ago but usually just as fragments. My wife was good with dates of family events so I probably just gave up and relied on her.
It never occurred to me that I may have hurt people by not remembering things.