I lost my mum 2 months ago suddenly to cancer and everyone in my family keeps saying how at least she had so many good times and happy memories.
I want to shout at them that we all know for the past 20 years she’s also been battling severe depression and was miserable. Only my siblings and I stayed around her through it all and the rest of our family kept us at arms length and just kept saying ‘hope she feels better soon’ and ‘let us know if there’s anything we can do’.
Now she’s gone and they still won’t accept how much she battled. When I gently bring it up and say she had hard times or use some euphemism they dismiss and say that she didn’t or that she had ‘more good times than bad’ even going as far as to say maybe we don’t remember the good times because we were younger.
I honestly don’t know how to cope with this and feel like my mums relatives are rewriting her life when my brothers and sisters and I were by her side seeing her every day for over 20 years as adults and my mums siblings spoke to her maybe once a year.
Hello @NikkiL,
Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump - I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts.
Sometimes people do not know how to approach things,it does not mean they do not care . They probably want to remember your mum when she was a child ,when they may have grew up with her . But please keep in touch with her family , as when you get older you realise family is important. Love to you all
I can see how that is very annoying, absent family members rewriting history. I’m sorry that your mum battled severe depression. My mum has depression, too. I’m on this forum because we lost my dad 10 months ago.
I was very close to my dad, and I would hate for anyone to say things about him that I know not to be true. I think that I know my dad better than anyone. He confided in me, and we were peas in a pod. He now lives in my heart.
But, yes, I understand your annoyance, and I sympathise 
.