Hi, this is my first message. We lost mum quickly 5 weeks ago. We thought we had 10 more months of holding, laughing, and seeing her. She lost her fight in 1 week. We sat by her hospital bed day & night and watched her fade away.
My husband says I shouldn’t still be crying and be with drawn a that I’m not coping as it’s not normal how I’m acting after this space of time . Can someone tell me I’m doing ok and I am normal. Please :pray:t2:


It’s only been five weeks so I think he should be more supportive than basically expecting you to get back to normal straight away. You need to take your time and grieve in your own time. When my mother passed it was a relief in a way as she had cancer and had suffered terribly in the last year of her life, she had failed operations, chemotherapy and lots of pain. It sounds like your mum was a lot sooner than you’d expected so I imagine you feel robbed of that extra time too. Sorry for your loss and I hope your husband will be a bit more supportive in the coming weeks x

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Sorry, but 5 weeks is a ludicrously short time. I reckon Ive done extremely well in getting through my grief (11 months!), but I still have my moments. In fact I shed a few tears this afternoon, when I picked up her photo and talked to her. But it does get less intense and frequent.


Your husband is anxious and upset watching you grieve, he wants you to just be your normal self again. He won’t understand, bless him until he is in the same situation himself.

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As someone else says your husband doesn’t want to see you sad etc because it is painful for them but unfortunately that is the reality.
It is very early days, I am 1year and a few days down the line and just sat and had a massive sob. Grief doesn’t have an expiration date, you don’t over it, you learn to live with it.
A couple of quotes from Megan Devine who writes on grief (you might want to look her up)
"“When you try to take someone’s pain away from them, you don’t make it better. You just tell them it’s not OK to talk about their pain.”
“The cult of positivity we have does everyone a disservice. It leads us to believe we’re more in charge of the world than we are, and holds us responsible for every pain and heartbreak we endure. It sets up a one-false-move world, in which we must be careful not to upset the gods, or karma, or our bodies with our thoughts and intentions.”
I hope you find this place one you can use and share your thoughts, your true thoughts without judgement.
Gentle hugs
Beki xx


Oh jeez …it so is normal … so sorry for your loss and what a shock ! Thinking you had 10 months but only had a week ! Similar story to mine. Got told my husband had 3/4 months but in reality he only lived 6 weeks after terminal.diagnosis !!! Heartbreaking isnt it ? Xx he passed on 16th december 2022 … im still struggling xxx