Hit the deck again today…hope everyone else is faring better…
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Not really. But have to celebrate my achievement of getting my walker through the front door and back in again. More difficult than it sounds. Have to get it over the sill and then down a half step. Still been in tears a few times. Xx.
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@UnityMan - you and me both, our kid. Currently getting up, dusting myself down and heading to the hotel bar… Some days are just rubbish, aren’t they? Hopefully, when we go out again into tomorrow, it will be better. For now, hold tight and know you are strong for getting this far and that you have got it in you to take the next step, and the next. All of us on here, we go again tomorrow - safety and comfort in numbers and all the understanding hearts here x
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Problem is tomorrow is Sunday and Sundays are always rough. Enjoy your drink at the bar. Xx
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@UnityMan this grief journey is so hard and seems to grab you and come in waves like a roller coaster. I often have days like this but some days are not as bad though I think of my husband all the time and miss him like mad and often ask WHY. Take care and big hugs xx
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Hi @Pudding , so true Sunday bloody Sunday,they drag on ,it’s like two boring lonely days in one .yet when my husband here ,they went in a flash.not enough hours in the day. But what can we do .just try to survive. But I sometimes ( most the time) think what’s all this for now .what is the point .all xtake carex
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The really bad thing for me is that I’m waiting for that kick in the stomach most days,almost conditioning myself because I know it will come,it’s just when ? I hope that at some point I will get through it along with everyone else on here suffering that terrible pain of loss.
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It seems to come on very quickly out of the blue. I can feel it coming as my body starts to shake. I often end up screaming or shouting why or come back, it’s not fair. Best to go with it and not fight it xx
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Oh how true. Then it subsides but you know it will be back.
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Saturdays are always bad. I’m trying hard to find new routines but today wasn’t great. Too hot, worrying financial letters in post, having to tell a well meaning relative that today wasn’t the day to listen to their list of things that I still need to do, being stuck with a really overpowering volunteer at an event I was helping at.
Not the worst things in the world but by early evening I just wanted it all to stop. I don’t drink alcohol for health related reasons, otherwise I would have just downed a bottle of wine. I don’t want this life.
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Sorry to hear that. Hope tomorrow is better for you.
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I actually drink less since he died
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Saturdays are hard as it’s the day it happened 16 weeks ago but eventually they should get better
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Aw … @UnityMan … another bad one 
youre not alone … xx
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Yeh indeed … what is it for ? Why do we have to fight to survive all the time … its exhausting !!! Im feeling more angry today ! The unfairness of it all and the idiots who dont understand !!! Xx
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Ah … youre back from norway !! I will personal message you tomorrow my friend …late now ! Just been watching the amy winehouse story … another tragedy but strangely seeing how well her parents cope after nearly a decade gives you a bit of hope … but its taken them years to come to terms with it …xx
@UnityMan I can totally relate-today has been awful,not seen anyone,i went for a walk hoping i’d bump into someone /anyone that i know but typically no.i always find the weekends harder because everyone has plans.Thank god for this site-at least we all understand how hard it is trying to adjust to this new ,painful life without our Soulmates-where are all us broken souls meant to go?
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Yeh weekends are the hardest … miss them the most don’t you ? When does this nightmare ever end hey ? My husband always made life such fun … he was such a happy man, bit of a comic really i suppose :).xx
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I’m not sure the nightmare will ever end.I really can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel right now.6 weeks in &it gets harder every day.I am same-my partner was such a happy-go-lucky,larger than life,big,daft Geordie-people were drawn to him everywhere we went-he quite literally lit up every room.I guess we have to hold on to the happy memories &be grateful that they chose us to do life with if that makes sense?I’ll always be grateful that he was mine xx
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Yeh … mine was same ! Made friends everywhere he went ! Mine was a yorkshireman but a funny one and made us all laugh so many times in his life … just his humour ! Said it as it was but he was so funny with it ! We were lucky weren’t we to have them !! So very lucky !! Youre very early days ! At this point you just need to give yourself lots of self care and be kind to yourself ! Its a massive thing we been through … it takes time to even sink in whats happened. Xx
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