This is the 4th week without my partner & I honestly think this has been my worst day since the day he died.
I went shopping with my sister but just walked around in a daze wishing I was at home. Since I’ve been home by myself all I’ve done is cry. I just don’t know how I am going to cope without him, I feel so lost.
This isn’t how our life was supposed to be.
I just want him back.
Dear sar49
I’m so sorry for your loss, i lost my husband of 30 years nearly 3 months ago and i still cry every day, we are in the very early stages of this horrible grief, sad to say but every day is different but also the same, but cry when you need to it does help to get the emotions out, i have no family so I’m alone most of the time, it’s good you have family, i hope they can help you navigate this horrible pain. Keep talking on here there are some wonderful people here who understand what your feeling we all try to help each other. Sorry to say but the pain and loneliness are always there we never lose that just learn to live around it. There are a lot of people here who feel exactly the same as you, myself included but I do get better days, I’ve learn to just let the tears fall i don’t hold back because for me it just makes me feel worse because it builds up so much it’s all I can do just to keep standing, everyone deals with it differently so just do what feels right for you, but keep talking on here there will always be someone that will reply sending you hugs jean 
You lose track of days and weeks, because you can’t think of anything else apart from your partner that you’ve lost and wishing that they were back thinking I wish something was different or that it didn’t happen in the first place. And that moment in the morning when you wake up and the reality hits you if you have family use them to help support you the more time you spend by yourself with time to think Can be very destructive. Just doing small things little jobs getting out and into nature and physical exercise. I find helps it won’t stop the pain or the grief but it’s a temporary distraction to help you cope. I lost my wife six weeks ago and I cry every day as we did everything together and I’m sure you’ve had the same with your partner. You feel so helpless because you have to go forward what feels like being on your own not having that support. The thing that really upset me was not having anybody say I love you anymore I was so used to hearing it every day. Everybody here knows exactly how you feel good few of us feel totally lost and feel we can’t go on but we do go on because we know that our partner. Would want us to be Happy and live a full life.
@Sar49
You have just summed up how I felt in my early weeks of grief . Walking around in a daze feeling numb. Wondering how I was going to cope on my own . It is a horrible thing to experience but it is normal in the early weeks and months of grief.
I have just passed 12 months since losing my husband suddenly cardiac arrest. We had been married for 36 years .
Every one is different in how they cope and deal with grief.
I now have some better days and some difficult days .
I hope you have other family and friends to support you .
We all understand on here
Look after yourself
Send hugs and strength you way
Dear Sar four weeks is still early days you had the funeral this week, you need more time. I found the first three months to be the worst and the pain started to reduce being replaced with emptiness. I live half an hour from the shops and I’ve gone many times and just walked out without buying anything. It’s almost ten months for since my wife died and I still cry every day normally the tears are cathartic but sometimes they still bring me down. I live alone which doesn’t help I hope your family will be a great support for you
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom