We often say that those who have not been through this awful experience can never know how we feel, but is that entirely true? I have a friend in Australia which whom I talk. When I said I was going through a bad patch she wrote the following. She has not suffered any loss.
“Obviously I have never suffered a loss like you have and until I do I can never actually know what it’s like; but I do understand and get it. Oh John; it doesn’t matter how long it has been since Stella passed, of course you still miss her and you always will. It’s not something you just get over and I don’t think you ever ‘get over it’. Sure, it may ease with time and you may learn to cope with it better but it will always be there. There is no ‘getting over it’ or ‘moving on from it’ and I hate those phrases when it comes to someone suffering a loss. It doesn’t matter if it’s a year, two years or five years or more. A loss is a loss and grief is grief, there is no time frame. Everyone is different and people are going to deal with it differently. When someone is suffering a loss, that person needs Love, support, comfort and compassion. What isn’t needed are stupid, insensitive and heartless remarks from idiotic people who have no idea what they are talking about or what that person is going through”.
She is a lovely lady and has so much empathy. Blessings. John.