not believing its real

It’s coming up to week 10 since losing my little brother (21yr to a burst appendix). I’m struggling to believe that he’s really gone. I just can’t accept it. When I start to believe it, I go into complete panic/anxiety like I’m not really here and in some sort of dream that I can’t wake up from. I’m scared to go to the doctor’s as I don’t want them to sign me off work again or give me medication (some anxiety medication) that they said they would if I started to feel this way again.

Hello @LJC, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your little brother. 10 weeks is no time at all in grieving and I think many of our members will relate to how you’re feeling right now. I’m really glad you’ve been able to reach out here.

I wanted to share this article with you. It talks about the stages of grief and other ways to think about loss. It might help you to understand what you’re going through right now and what to expect. Some people say that knowing what they are feeling is normal can help. You can read it here: Understanding reactions to loss: are there stages of grief?

The Compassionate Friends offer support to adults who have lost their siblings. They have groups, including online ones, that are run by people who have lost a brother or sister, too.

I can hear that you don’t want to go back to the doctors, but if you find yourself really struggling or experiencing thoughts of harming yourself, please do think about getting some extra help. You matter and deserve help and support.

Take good care