Not coping since losing my dad


Um idk why I’m posting this I guess I just need somebody. I feel very alone.

My dad sadly passed away in January of cancer. I’m really not adjusting to life without him. 6 months before he passed away his wife passed away so within a year we lost them both :frowning:

I’m just struggling so much and I seem to be self harming more as a way to cope with it all. :frowning:

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Dear Anonymous123,

You have taken a brave step by coming to this site and telling us how you feel. All the members of this community know what if feels like to lose a loved one. You have lost two people in a short space of time and it is not surprising that you are struggling. You deserve help and support.

Self-harming from what I have read and understand is a really difficult problem to deal with on your own. Trying to cope with emotional pain by inflicting physical pain is how I have seen it described. Is this something that you have been struggling with for some time and have you ever talked about it with your GP or someone else you trust to try and get help? There is no need to be ashamed, don’t struggle on your own.

Below is some information that you may find helpful. There is support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

    • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
    • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
    • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: .

Take care, and post on this site as often as you want. There will always be someone who responds. I hope that by reading other people’s posts and replies you will feel less alone.

I think losing a parent is very sad we know that in the circle of life they will go befor us but when it happens its a shock. Especially dads. Theyre our strength, strong and indestructable. Then poxy cancer jumps in and takes them from us. Maybe we get to say our goodbyes but that doesnt make up for the empty space in the chair we remember them sitting in. Nothing takes away the pain. The pain just gets easier to cope with thats how we manage to cope. A slow process with no shortcuts. Its not easy but is doable. Our parents first thought was our happiness so in some part we move forward when we begin to remember the good memories we made with them. They do come eventually.
If your dad were here now and knew you were self harming more what might he say to help you try having that thought next time you do it see if it in some way helps.

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I lost my dad suddenly in February with no real warning. I went to work & got a call saying he had collapsed.

I know you feel down but I can’t stress how much talking on this site has helped me.

Sometimes I feel terrible, I miss him so much everyday that it hurts. I turned 29 yesterday & he should have been there with his family.

But sometimes I feel ok, today has been a good day & my thoughts of him are so positive they make me feel so proud.

Talking helps & I find this site is the best to go to as others on here are going through or have been through loss.

Talking to others can sometimes be hard, I don’t want to be the person that always talks about what happened or the person who cries when he has a drink so this site helps for me.

If you ever want to talk, feel free to reply. If you just want to talk about how you are coping or just to say what kind of person your dad is & what he means to you I am happy to listen.

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