Not coping with loss of sister

Hi, in Sept my younger sis was diagnosed with a low grade cancer of the womb, she was told it would be atleast 5 years before it would spread, a hysterectomy was advised but was told there were other options at this stage, she opted for hormone treatment, it would be reassessed in 6 months, in March after her 2nd jag she started to take ill, one hospital sent her home saying 'are you sure you have cancer phone your doc) another hosp saying she had an infection, gave her antibiotics and sent her home, the main cancer hosp made her an app but cancelled due to lockdown in some cities, this went on for a couple of months, cancelled phone app nit being taken seriously then she was taken for a smear to come back negative, she had started to lose alot of blood and was told by 2 docs her coil had fallen out(hormone treatment) given more antibiotics and painkillers and sent home, she was becoming more sick and this time they said gallbladder, on the 1st of July she was taken into hosp by ambulance as could barely walk due to pain, put on fluids and pain relief, she told us the pain was unbearable, 2nd of July we were told they needed to operate to drain infection but as she was on blood thinners she would bleed out so they had given her something to thicken the blood, at midnight we were told it had started to work and would get her to theatre, 3.17am we were told she had died, the reason she died was bled to death internally, we pushed for postmortem to find cancer had taken over womb, cervix, virgina, liver, lymphatic system, she was neglected so much and ignored when she was ill that they didn’t check her properly, she was basically left in pain. We are so devastated and broken by this, it doesn’t feel real, the pain gets harder instead of easier, my husband doesn’t understand and is getting fed up with my moodiness, its as if something inside of me has been turned off, my happiness, my dad ontop of all this was given a month to live in May due to lung cancer but is holding on, that was last time I saw my sister in person, we went to see our dad, I live on an island so we thought it would be my only chance to see him before he died. The sadness is so sore and then if I try to be happy I feel guilty.


I’m so so sorry about how things evolved with your sister. I’m in no position to give you any sound ‘advice’ as I have just lost my younger sister to a completely senseless accident and have no idea how to cope with it. She was just crossing the road at a zebra crossing with her dog and was hit by a car. I just wanted to tell you that I know how it feels to lose a younger sister and the pain is unbearable. Younger sisters are not supposed to die. I was supposed to protect her. No matter the circumstances, no amount of trying to reason with the unreasonable will make the reality of not having your sister anymore any easier to fathom. I’m trying to take every moment as it comes. I’m trying to just focus on grieving her. It is all hard to do. I really hope you and I find some light at some point. I hope your dad is comfortable.


My sincere condolences to you, I understand how you feel, my younger sister died suddenly beginning of July, I have my husband a 3 children, none of them understand, having lost my aunty too I can see where my children are at and it is nothing to the pain of losing my sister, even the loss of my grandparents. When my sister died I felt a part means died too, its been 3 months and the pain is as raw as the night I was told, I have been told that this is normal and take it a day at a time, we will in time learn to live with the grief and

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I’m so sorry for your loss, the rawness will be so painful, do you have other siblings that are going threw this with you or are you alone in this, it is definitely hour by hour just now, o e minute can seem fine then the next in tears, anything can trigger it, people getting excited for Christmas when now I’m dreading it, it was my sisters favourite time of the year and she mad spoiling all the nephew and neices, take care and I pray we find some kind of peace soon

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I do not have any other sibling. She was my only sister and only real connection to my life before I got married. I meant the world to her. She was 6 years younger. I was instrumental in her milestones of college education, wedding etc. i feel like I have lost a child. I have two kids and a very supportive husband. But nothing helps with the pain of losing my sister. I don’t want to dignify life by ‘learning’ from this. Because that would mean I am just accepting what happened to her and taking it in my stride. I don’t want her death to be just another accident. Obviously everyone will move on. I don’t want to. I am sure you are hurting just as much and probably even more. I m sorry your sister was in pain before she passed. How old was she? Did she have family other than you she has left behind? I sincerely hope your sister is at peace and she knew she was loved so much by you.

We are from a big family, so there are others who are going through this too, Rebecca was 2 years younger than me and we were very close, she was like a second mum to my children, ever since she was a little girl her dream was to find her perfect man and have kids, her womb failed her though, the thought of never having kids hurt her more than being told she had cancer, her husband told us the other week that he found in her phone adoption agencies, she must of slowly come to terms and was deciding to get the hysterectomy after all. The doctors and consultants have covered their backs so we can’t even challenge them with negligence. Did the driver get charged for the death of your sister, the emotions you must be feeling will be all over the place and the anger, its so much to handle and then trying to live each day with these feelings. My Dad at present is still at his home he has refuse a hospice, he lives in England and I’m in Scotland, we facetime, he has a nurse visit once a week to check on him and the wardens check on him everyday, at one point he was left and we had to get the police who found him barely breathing, he was taken to hospital put on oxygen then sent back home the next day, with covid they weren’t wanting anyone in hosp, he’s doing OK just now on his meds, just not eating very well