Not coping with my grief

I lost my Nan 12 weeks ago on Saturday. She passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 71. I received a phone call from my Mum 3 days before my Nan passed to tell me that she was in hospital but she was ok. I live 200 miles away from my family and I felt that I needed to be with them so I drove the next day straight to the hospital. My Nan called me whilst I was driving home and I got to talk to her but she sounded very poorly. I thought I would be home for the weekend and she would be back in her home by Monday after antibiotics and fluids but that didn’t happen. I stayed by my Nan’s side until she passed on the Saturday.

I was exceptionally close with my Nan since being a little girl which carried on into my adult life. She was my biggest cheerleader and the person I could call up at 2 in the morning if I needed her. I am really struggling with losing her. This is the first time I’ve dealt with grief so strong and lost someone that was such a big part of my life.

Living 200 miles away from my support system is really difficult and I am struggling with being alone with no friends or family. I am currently signed off work because I’m not coping well. I know that I need to be with my family and have made the decision to move back to my hometown but I can’t do this straight away due to my job.

I don’t know whether I should ask for an extension of my sick note and take another week with my family or if I should just get on with it and go back to work. I feel really guilty for having the time off but I also know I should put myself first.

If anyone has any advice on coping with grief, particularly living alone and being so far away from your family or about what I should do in terms of work, I would really appreciate it.

Hey. Im sorry you are going through this. I can relate. please be easy on yourself and dont have too many expectations on how you should be feeling or coping. There is no handbook or correct way to do this or deal with this. You’ll feel a whole range of things but please also focus on what your nan meant to you. The good memories. It is easier said than done but it sounds like you were very lucky to have that relationship and hopefully remembering this will ease some of the more sad times ahead.