not coping

Coping with bereavement
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my husband rob passed away on 6th september 2018. he had a brain tumout. we were together 51 years. im not coping and need help advice and friendship
sue

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Hi Sue, 51 years is a lifetime and you will be feeling lost, alone, frightened and no idea what the future holds for you. I bet I’m right, as we all know these emotions. So don’t know if it helps but there are many of us feeling exactly the same as you, your not alone, your among people that know and care so among friends. You say your not coping but I bet you are, it may be slow but if you get on with everyday things, perhaps a bit mundane but you are doing them, then you are coping. If you cry a lot then join the club, that’s what most of do. I do, a year on but think of it as a tribute to my husband and don’t want to forget so I can cope with and spare a few tears everyday. Personally I try to keep myself occupied for most of the day. And a year on I am just making the effort to mix again having preferred my own company most of the time, except for my beloved dogs who have been a godsend with their love and companionship. You don’t say what you do with your time but if you have an interest then that’s good. I know it’s hard to pick up the pieces but small steps I find is the answer. Keep with the forum we all understand and you will never be alone. Good luck to you.
xxxx

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thank you so much for yout reply and kind words. its been 16 months since i lost him and things just dont get any easier. i feel like a big part of me died with him. I truly dont know what to do. My dog has also been a godsend but shes 16 now and im afraid im going to lose her too. I am trying to keep busy but nothing i do seems to fill the gaping hole left in my life.

I dont know if things will get any better but i hope so

sue

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Hi there Sue. I agree I don’t think anything really fills that hole. We learn to live with each day as it is now. Not how we want it to be but there’s nothing we can do about that. Our lives have changed and it’s so hard trying to adjust. There is no timescale on grief, non of us know how long the agony is going to continue, perhaps forever but we do have to learn to live with our loss and accept.
Take care
Pat

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