It’s 8 years since my husband died and all of a sudden everything has just come to a head . I just can’t cope , it’s as if he has only just gone . I thought that after 8 years things would be getting better not worse . I know I’m suffering from anxiety and depression, I can’t get out of bed in the morning and I’m always running late to get to work . Things I used to enjoy hold no interest for me and I feel so cut off from people . I’m soon to be starting a course of speaking to someone via Zoom from Sue Ryder, I just need to talk to someone who will listen and understand . I sometimes feel as if I’m going off my head completely. I don’t remember the last time that I felt truly happy . I miss him so much that it hurts unbearably . I truly thought I’d be doing better than this.
Thank you for bravely reaching out - I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.
You mention that it feels like he has only just gone. I wanted to share this video with you on complicated grief. Complicated grief is when grief doesn’t seem to change or shift at all. In complicated grief, you can find yourself ‘stuck’, perhaps unable to feel sad or cry, or perhaps you feel too sad to manage your day-to-day life.
All of this can happen with grief, but when you’re experiencing complicated grief - these feelings last many months, without seeming to change.
I am really glad to hear you will be starting counselling with Sue Ryder. But if you recognise your feelings in the video above, I’d really encourage you to share them with your counsellor and consider making an appointment with your GP, too.
Please do keep reaching out - you are not alone.
sending you love