Hi.
My husband passed away on Friday at home, where he wanted to be.
He had cancer and did not want any treatment.
I was not there with him, he did not want me in the end, so i found him in the morning.
He was bed bound for over 5 months.
I was coping well, until today.
Now i feel lost and alone.
I don’t think i will ever get over this pain and feeling of total emptiness.
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Hi @Sandra9 . I think we all remember those terrible very early days. I well remember walking about in a panic, shaking, not really knowing which way to turn. All I could do was hang on, and cry. Then cry some more! The only good thing I could do is rely on friends and neighbours kept turning up to see if I needed anything, and give me a hug. All I wanted was to know that someone cared!
It was impossible to believe that the grief would end but the last 18 months have proved otherwise. It can take that long, but bit by bit grief eases, and our lives start to grow again. There are practical challenges to overcome, but ask for help to whoever you can. There are, even now, emotional spells.
All we can do is hold on tight, try to keep as optimistic as you can, and the crisis will pass.
Have faith, it’ll be ok, although you dont yet know how to get there.
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Thank you Tykey.
I appreciate you taking the time to share your experience.
I did not know i could feel pain like this.Sandra
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Hi Sandra
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The most beneficial thing I did in the early days was to sit in “her” chair, and talk and cry to her. I told her every day of my thoughts, fears, memories, problems, and particularly what her dogs had got up to.
I still do!
I dont get really upset any more, but if I get a bit teary, one of our dogs (a little poochon called Crumpet) hurtles onto my lap and licks my tears, stares into my eyes as if to say “it’ll be ok, Dad, we are here”. We find little ways to help us hang on during the storm.
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Yes my at annoying though she is getting under my feet keeps coming back and making me feed her, get back and she bounces on me and snuggles. Think animals know. Like other folks dogs seem to know and come over. Nature is helpful but it is still really hard. Yes I still send messages to my husband and he is around me everywhere in my head.
For you
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My husband passed away on 8/11/23 only 1 week ago but this weeks has seemed like a lifetime.
I have been his full time caregiver for five years and I should have been prepared for this.
He was 17 years older than me but we did have over 30 years together.
The house is now so quiet and feels too empty
How do we learn how to cope
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