Not coping

My mum died 12 weeks ago after hospital discharged her knowing she had blood clots in her lungs. She died 15 minutes after discharge. I know she’s dead but every morning I wake up and second guess myself and it’s like I’m in denial and then I have to remind myself and it kills me every time. Does this pain ever go away? I’m trying to hold it together to get my kids through losing their grandmother but I’m lost without her.

Hello @Lostsoul39 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling lost without your mum. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,


I’m so sorry for your loss @Lostsoul39

I’m 18 weeks into this horrendous journey, I had been with my husband for 42 years

Id like to say the pain goes away but I don’t think it ever will. You just learn to live with it.
Its like being on a rollercoaster you will have up days and down days.
Eventually the up days will outnumber the down, I hope.
But I think its a ride we will never truly get off.
As time goes on you will learn to cope
Keep posting on here. We all understand, we’re all going through the same hell.

Sending big hugs to you and your children

Liz x