Its a week today, that my amazing husband and soul mate passed. I know its still early day’s, but it was his birthday monday which i sonehow got through, although had to meet the funeral directors that day. Yesterday was the worst day and waking up this morning i know today will be the same. Ive been trying to sort everything out for his funeral next week. But i just cant cope, im in such a deep state of grief and despair. I honestly dont want to carry on, i see no point. I know once the funeral is over, this feeling will intensify.
I dont feel a reason to go on and i cant seem to navigate the world ive now been thrown into.
I just feel once i lay my beautiful husband to rest, I will sort everything out, then thats it.
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I am so sorry for your loss. You must keep going. You must try to stay strong for his sake.
I’m writing this whilst lying in bed trying to muster the energy to get up and face another day myself after recently losing my Dad. We must do it for them. You will find the strength from the most unexpected sources and you will carry on. Please look after yourself and take things one step at a time. I hope you have someone to support you through this, even this online community is a big help. You are not alone. X
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We all totally understand how you feel. I wanted to die from the second my husband passed, and I too didn’t think there was any point in going on. But we somehow manage to get through by taking an hour at a time… don’t look any further than that. I still don’t and it’s now 7 months for me. Very slowly and very gradually you will somehow find the strength to go on. It’s the hardest thing we will probably ever have to deal with, but we are all in this together - try and draw strength from that.
I have drawn strength from the stories I’ve read on here, which have reminded me I had 36 wonderful years of marriage - a lot of people haven’t been so lucky.
Take care of yourself - sending you much love xx
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I can totally relate to what you are saying. My husband died 3 days before his birthday. I was inconsolable and spent most of the day in tears.
I did pick myself up, decided to live the life I was going to create for myself, and make my lovely husband proud.
It does get better. I think of him all the time, and even 10 months on things can catch me unawares and I’m in floods of tears. Just dont try and do everything all at once. I spent the first 3 months doing only what was absolutely essential - funeral, utility bills etc. The rest can wait. Allow yourself time to grieve, and do it in a way that works for you.
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You will, everything you’re feeling at the minute is normal. I was terrified that I’d always feel as bad as it did in them early weeks.
I’m not going to lie to you, life won’t ever be the same, however you can and will still find things to enjoy and it won’t always feel this dark.
I used to want to die most days just to end my pain. I still feel a bit like that sometimes as it still hurts, however I do also want to live now. I’m 2 years on, so I’m hoping it just keeps getting a little better xx
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I felt just the same, I really wanted to go where my husband has gone. The struggle staying was far too much and pointless. Now 9 weeks on I only occasionally think of joining him, it is still a struggle. But you ha to live in the moment don’t try to think of tomorrow or next week. My brain really struggled to do all the things it needed to do, change direct debits, cancel things etc. The floods of tears were constant, not sleeping eating very rarely. But gradually I realised not eating I felt worse so tried eating something. I have to force myself because I have no interest in food and still don’t eat at home. Do what you need to do, I have to be out of the house all day as its too empty and with no family it’s too painful. If you have family make sure you get help from them. Now I still have bouts of crying, even in public, still occasionally shout out his name. But not as often. You just put one foot in front of the other and breathe. Best wishes x
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I know the feeling well and I’m so sorry you suffer this much right now. 
I would never tell anyone that they have to or must continue on, so I won’t say that to you. But it’s very early days yet and for many it does get easier with time. So I would gently ask you to consider trying, especially if you still have people who depend on you, to give it some time. Live minute by minute if you have to and see if it changes to maybe hour by hour and then day by day. And do find a professional to talk to, perhaps via your GP. You need support right now, this is nothing you should have to handle alone. Sending you love and huge hugs. 
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