not knowing whats best

i am staying with my friend to support her as her husband is dying. he is now at home in a hospital bed that helps relieve pressure sore. he hasnt eaten for 2 weeks. his speech is difficult to understand. he moans all the time from pain. he is very agitated and seems to have a cough but we dont think he is coughing. he cant swallow but asks for hot chocolate he takes a couple of sips. it stays in his mouth til he cant keep it there then spits it out. when nurses ask if he is in pain he says no but he has always been stubborn. he cant bear to be touched. should his pain meds be upped.

Hello NettyJen. You may not pop by the site again but I wanted to reply and say I hope you and your Friend are coping as well as you can be at this terribly difficult and sad time. There is some excellent advice on this site and it’s really helpful. I dearly wish I’d known all this and found this site whilst my Husband was in Hospital because they told me nothing at all. Id have been better informed and prepared. My Husband was discharged on EOL with weeks to live but passed away the same night so things can also be unpredictable. The healthcare providers looking after him should advise you well. It’s an admirable thing you arre doing for your friend, she is so lfortunate to have you. Wishing you all strength and love. Tina

I’m so sorry that your friend is going through this. I know exactly how she feels because my husband died in very similar circumstances 6 months ago. He had a brain tumour and, toward the end couldn’t swallow or speak.
He was also in terrible pain but was stubborn however as next of kin I insisted that he be fitted with a device that administers continual pain relief and it was such a relief for him, he was also topped up with a daily injection of Morphine.
If I was your friend I would insist on a doctors visit so that they can set up a pump to administer pain relief. It’s a very stressful time for both of them so anything they can do to make him more comfortable must be done.
Good luck to everyone and I wish him a speedy journey.