‘Not real’ days

Does anyone else have days where it’s like they’re back at square one and in shock, like this awful thing hasn’t happened and your parents are all fine and it was just this nightmare that is lingering on from the night before?
It’s always in the back of your head, don’t get me wrong, but I’m 1 month in from losing my Dad suddenly now and for the last 2 weeks I’m going round in circles feeling rock bottom and then today I feel almost numb, like it’s in my head but I’ve convinced myself it’s not real - not well enough to get through the day without tears I might add but in a weird way that makes me question reality all over again.

Everything is so hard. I wish every day that it was a nightmare and to have my family back as it was


Hi Meg, I think we all have days when we feel like that, it certainly took me months before I stopped crying every day, it does get better, but even now I have days when I really miss them, especially when something happens in the family which I know they would have loved, there is no easy way through this unfortunately, we just have to go with it, take care Jude xx

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Yes - even more than 3 months on from my mum’s death I’ve just had a horrible horrible week, crying every day, asking all the unanswerable questions, missing her all the time and just wanting her back. I think we all have those days, weeks, moments, when it just doesn’t make any sense that our loved people are not here any more. I try and remind myself to take things slowly, to try not to look too far ahead because that’s just so scary, and to know that eventually, it will ease again, at least a bit, for a while.

I keep coming back to this site because there are so many people who really get all this - I hope you find it helpful too.

Take care and keep posting
Nam xx


Hi Meg,
Grief is debilitating, it takes you by surprise and unlike most things in your life you aren’t in control. I lost my wonderful Daddy when I was 22. It was like someone took away my foundations and I had to rebuild myself! It really does get better. You learn to take all those precious memories you have a build a picture of them that is yours and very precious. Every memory, every life lesson, every moment forms an image and that image becomes something that comforts you!
Ride with the emotions, know they normal and all part of the process of healing! My advice would be to talk to someone. I didn’t and it’s a big regret!
Much love