They say time is a great healer but i dont feel like its doing me any good . My 21year old son passed away on march1st this year . As time is passing it really does feel like its getting harder ,i cant keep up with anything and i just feel lost inside my own head … does it get easier ?
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Hello, I’m so sorry to hear about your terrible loss.
I lost my wife 3 months ago and also feel like the pain and sadness is getting worse. I have read that grief can change a lot after the first few months when the shock begins to wear off and the realities of life without your loved one begins to sink in. This is certainly happening to me. I suppose we all must just hang in there through these difficult times and hope to goodness it becomes more bearable.
Best wishes
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Hello @Lost1986, my daughter was also 21 and it’s almost 2years since she left. I wish I could say it gets better but this pain is for life. I think the first year you live in a kind of mania, your whole world is shattered and you’re scrambling to make sense of it, nothing that once was exists now.
But how you feel now will not be how you feel forever. Without realising it, over time you begin to live a different life. The pain and loss is always there but we learn to carry it and not fight against it.
There are still so many things I cannot do, I desperately want to be able look at my daughters photos, listen to her singing (she was a singer/songwriter), celebrate her birthday, enjoy the memories and relive the good times but it’s all too painful and I can only feel the loss and anguish. Maybe one day but not today.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, we walk a very lonely path when we lose a child, just know everything you feel is normal and valid.
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Hello, my heart goes out to you! I lost my son, 57 years old. It is still agony. This was two years ago. No matter how old the lost ones are, it’s still devastating.
I can however manage the pain better.
I still do breakdown in tears if I have to explain why my son isnt in this world any more.
You will get there!
I’m 80 years old and the future isn’t really there.
Sending you healing and love
I’m just so tired - everyone says it’s normal to cry, feel desperate, to refuse reality, to miss their presence in this world, to miss them soooo much that it’s almost unbearable to live with that pain. But saying it doesn’t stop those feelings. They are just there.
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Hello Alone2, Thank you for your kind words. Grief is the price we pay for love. It hurts so much but we can’t avoid it. I’m so very sorry that you lost your son.
Sending you strength and sympathy x
Hello MoBe and lost 1986
I lost my son ,29, many years ago , but like you now, I couldn’t look at his photos or any of his things. I thought the pain would never end. 7 years later I lost my grandson when he was 23, both of these were accidents. It was then that I found several photos of Robert and Dom and put them all in a frame and gave it to my husband for Christmas. I was concerned it would upset the family more but it brought us all together more and it’s been on our wall ever since.
I love them both and always will. I’ll always miss them but the pain becomes manageable and I can now remember them with love and not just pain and sadness, my prayers are with all of you mourning sons and daughters.
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Thank you @Grandmasue I am so sorry you lost so much, I cannot understand how cruel life can be, some have to endure unbelievable loss while others sail through unscathed.
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