I’m not sure if anyone is on this thread but it’s probably the closest one I’ve found. My dad passed in January this year. Hed had breast cancer for 12 years, been in remission after 3 years but refused to stop smoking dude to the fact it wasn’t his lungs 
. In 2022 we found out he was ill again after a family trip to Disneyland Paris. He struggled to breath on the trip after short walks and a million steps but he forced himself to crack on for the grand kids regardless. When we arrived home my mother forced him to get checked out and we found out he was riddled with cancer. His lungs, bones, jaw and several other places. We were understandably gutted. He was 6ft 21st mountain of a man, an ex miner and the middle one of ten kids from the valleys that always sacrificed just so we had all they could give. We watched him waste away and eventually have to use a scooter to get about. We always made fun like we’d always had. I’m one of 2. My brother and I would make an effort to take him places and do things with the kids even taking him to Big pit. A mining museum which he loved. Showing the kids how he used to live and work. My son getting onto the navy was the proudest day of his life. As ill as he was I drove us 4 hours in traffic to my boys passing out parade. He balled as my boy marched in formation and eventually passed out. He hugged my boy so tight and it’s something my son and I will never forget. Fast forward to December last year he came out with the family in the rain to see a light show in a park in Cardiff. We knew it was rubbish weather but he refused to not go and miss it. We had a fantastic time and he loved every second although he was soaked through. Dad felt ill but Christmas was a dream. My son came home on leave unexpectedly and I asked my dad to come with me to where he lives with his mum (separated) to celebrate his 18th birthday and have his first legal beer 
. I’ve never seen a man so proud and he thanked me quietly as dad’s don’t often do. We saw him over new years and he wasn’t great but didn’t let is see or tell us too much. His birthday was on the 5th of Jan and my mum rang us in the morning to tell us that the doctor had been and we needed to come now. My brother and I attended and he was being cared for by the palliative care team. We knew it wasn’t good. I got to briefly talk to him as most of his brothers and sisters came. My mum told me brother and I that they’d discussed a DNR. Took us for a loop but he’d fought so hard that we understood. He was in a terrible state. After everyone had left my mum asked my brother and I to leave too but despite our best efforts to stay we couldn’t go against what she wanted. As we left we went to go upto see him but got stopped as my mum said he was asleep due to the medication. I didn’t think he’d go so left. He passed at 3am the day after his 66th birthday in bed with my mum holding his hand. Can’t think of any other way he’d want to go. I arrived shortly after the call around half 3. I’m the oldest brother and my mum and brother were a mess. I called the undertaker and stayed while they came. I watched my mum and brother break apart as I held them as they took him away and stayed, staring at the TV, numb as my mother slept from absolute exhaustion after my brother left crying his eyes out. I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye or tell him we’d be ok. We’d spoken before about when he goes but I can’t get over not holding his hand and reassuring him. I know he knew. I’m a strong man because of him. I’ve worked hard for a career and family that he knew. Just can’t get over walking out the door and that being it. Crying writing this and sure it won’t get read but thank you if it does and you have. Definitely needed it. I miss him immensely.
@ShrekieG So sorry for the loss of your lovely dad, what an amazing and proud man he was.
Keep reading and posting on this site, it really does help. We’re all struggling with this rollercoaster of grief and trying our best to get through each day. Chatting with others who are also struggling makes us realise we’re not alone and keeps us trying to move forward.
I hope you can eventually find some peace in all the wonderful memories you have 
Hi Shrekie I am sorry to hear about your Dad. He sounds like an amazing man who anyone would be proud to have as a father and friend. My wife was given five months to live a couple of years ago after being diagnosed with bile duct cancer, fortunately for me she survived almost two years and then died on Christmas day. She had just turned 61 a few days earlier. What these terrible events show us is that every moment is precious and there’s always time to give our loved ones a hug or a kiss. I’m sure you will make him proud and he’ll be watching over his family from heaven.
Wishing you all the best Tom 
Hi Brandon1,
I have been looking through all the messages on here following my mum passing last week. struggling to cope with losing her as we were so close and feeling very lost without her.
I read your comment about your lovely wife - I’m so sorry for your loss.
My mum also passed away following diagnosis and treatment for Bile duct cancer - She was diagnosed a year ago but struggled with multiple admissions due to infections/sepsis around where the cancer was. Feel guilt so much of her time was spent in hospital especially over Christmas and new year.
Dear Kim my wife was very close to her mum and when she died it took her a long time to come to terms with it. We looked around and eventually found a therapist that helped her a lot. When my wife was later given five months to live she went back to the therapist to help her come to terms with her own mortality. Fortunately my wife managed to live two years but it was fraught with difficulties. I met my wife by chance walking down a London street at eighteen. As she walked passed me I realised I had to catch-up to her take the opportunity presented to me. I soon found out I she was heading back to Spain so I had to leave my job and pack my bags. Forty years later we were a few months away from our fortieth wedding anniversary when she died in my arms after getting an infection. Her last breath was a call out to her mum. I hope her mum was coming to pick her up in her arms.
I’m sure your mum will be looking out for you from heaven. We have to make our loved ones proud
Wishing you all the strength you will need and sending hugs 
All the best Tom
Hi Tom,
that’s a lovely story of meeting your wife - you knew instantly that she was the one for you.
I so hope they are with us everyday knowing how loved they were.
All the best to you too and your journey .
Thanks for your reply x
Thanks Tom and sorry for your loss x