Nothing seems real for Christmas

It is 3 years since i lost my soulmate David and the pain of loss is as raw today as it was 3 years ago.
I still go to a lot of trouble with Christmas even though my heart is not in it.
I send lots of cards and still entertain a number of friends over the Christmas period, and thats partly because i dont want to wallow in my misery or be alone, because if i dont make an effort no one else will.
We were always the ones who entertained, and yet we never ever were invited back,
I know some people would say,dont bother, but that leaves me completely alone again, so i dont know what the answer is, its a two edged sword.
I have 5 coming for lunch on Christmas day and i will cook turkey and venison and all the trimmings, laugh and joke and pretend that iā€™m doing fine.
I do believe we become very good actors when dealing with grief.
I do try not to feel sorry for myself knowing full well that others are going through the same thing.
So do please try to make the best of getting through the festive season even though festivities are the last thing on your mind.

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Sending you gentle thoughts @Rhody. I think a lot of our members will understand just what you mean about becoming good actors when dealing with grief. I do hope you can get through the festive season as best you can. The community is here for you, too.

Take good care,
Seaneen

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