Its just so hard .I never new how much you could miss someone so much xx
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Another lovely poem to share xx
I don’t need a special day to bring you to mind
The days I do not think of you are very hard to find
Each morning when I awake I know that you are gone
And no one knows the heartache as I try to carry on
My heart still aches with sadness and secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you no one will ever know
My thoughts are always with you, your place no one can fill
In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still.
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Hi Sad2
This is my poem for my wife. As I say, this came out my head I the early hours in one take.
Do I miss you
I miss your hand to hold
The warmth of you, when I am cold
The small talk and the tales to share,
My eyes in yours, the loving stare.
I know exist, when I used to enjoy,
Like a ship at see, I’m all ahoy.
The empty chair across the table,
The life we had when we were able.
Life is quiet, without your voice,
A silence to endure, I have no choice.
The love you gave and received in turn,
My head does crave, my heart does yearn.
The years we shared with such zest
I now know, were the very best.
A life I gave for your protection
Now a sense of loss and life in rejection
The gentle touch of your tender kiss
Your warm embrace, I will always miss.
The beautiful places we once walked
Now just stories for me, to reflect, to talk.
The life we planned now stands in tatters,
A husband’s life that now is shattered.
Two lonely souls in crowded places
Surrounded by hosts of friendly faces.
You are in one world and I in another
I need my wife, our boys their mother. I
We are the original star crossed lovers
With love enough to share with others.
The life we had was so wonderful and true
A real love story, only me, only you.
I must share our love, and preach, and sing
To seek each other, instead of shiny things.
A life I must now try and rebuild,
For friends and family, our hearts must heal.
Our love for each other was full of colour,
A wonderful thing that knows no other.
Do I miss you, all the time,
The special friend and wife, that’s mine.
Hope you like it. Xx
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Another beautiful poem and so true.
Mike
That is really beautiful and so meaningful, and it’s made me cry. Thank you for sharing.
This is a lovely quote I found:
“Sharing our stories can also be a means of healing. Grief and loss may isolate us and anger alienate us. Shared with others these emotions can be powerfully uniting, as we see that we are not alone , and realise that others weep with us.”
My thoughts are with you during these dark days x
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To day I feel the emptiness and missing my husband so much uts over the ache us overwhelming 
xx
I’m so sorry for the heartache and pain you are suffering. I hope you have someone you can talk to and share your grief.
A little poem for you x
Memories
I feel a warmth around me, like your presence is so near.
And I close my eyes to visualise your face when you were here.
I endure the times we spent together, and they are locked inside my heart.
As long as I have those memories, we will never be apart.
Even though we cannot speak anymore, my voice is always there,
Because every night before I sleep, I have you in my prayer.
Take care.
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Sad2,
Beautiful as ever 
James
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That’s a beautiful poem Mike - thanks for sharing. I think the line that stands out for me is ‘The life we planned now stands in tatters’. That is exactly how I feel. We didn’t plan everything in minute detail but we had so many things we wanted to do when we had the time to ourselves (he was only 50). I feel so sad that we didn’t get to the time that was more for ourselves after all the hard work. Not quite sure why I’m working hard any more as there’s no reward of sharing it with him now.
Just lovely
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Thank you all for your kind messages 
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Hi Jules
Thank you for your kind words. For me there is no real purpose to life, all the things we worked hard and saved for, I can’t do, it does not feel right just carrying on with plans. In fact I have no plans, the thought of a solitary life visiting all the places we were going to do as a couple, fill me with dread. I feel that I have to change everything about me, almost reset my needs and wants to a base line of just being bland. A bit like painting a house all white, so you can start again. The problem is that I enjoyed a life of fun and colour and taking that out of me is so hard, it is the main reason I can’t go forward with anything, it’s making me reclusive, and stay in my castle. Being this way protects me from witnessing all the things that other couples just do as part of there normal life. The life we enjoyed. Bonkers isn’t it, but I’m not the only one felling this way, so hopefully time will sort the mashup of needs and wants of past present and future, before in changes all the things that are important for me and people like about me.
At the moment, I just want to be on my own and wish time away, but I’m a young 60 something person, and have a zest for life, but I cant find my mojo and preparing myself to not ever find it.
Absolutely bonkers isn’t it.
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Hi Sad2
Another set of thought provoking words that cut with the clarity like a sharp knife through your emotions.
How are we ever going to get through this ??
No it’s not bonkers. I’m sat in a field by myself having just been for a walk through some lovely woods. Somewhere that we never came - it seems to make it easier although I wish we had been here together. We had booked a holiday together for next summer 2 days before he died. We had also booked a staycation for this year a few days before as well. My children (young adults) are coming with me this year so that we can have some time together but can’t see me doing the one we booked for next year. We had so many places we wanted to see, so many things we wanted to do. I’m still early 50s - I don’t want to contemplate another lifetime of doing very little without him.
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Jules4,
Wonderful attitude to have and credit to you for creating new memories as we must now make with the loss of loved ones.
James
It still feels so lonely though. Him just being with me made so much of a difference- it made me content.
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Another wonderful poem to treasure , thank you so much
I really love “I’m still There with You” - it’s beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.
Clair xx
Hi All
It’s been a little while since I was on this forum. Things have been a bit tough, these next couple of months are full of firsts that I have to get through.
Yesterday I set off to the sea side on my motorbike to put some flowers on the pier. It was her first birthday that she isn’t here for and we we always did things and had the family around. One of my sons lives a way away and the other was pinged and was isolating so I was on my own. I went out a few days ago a bought her a card, that was hard, but I was compelled to do it. I always spent ages choosing a card, the words have to be right and sincere, so that made it even harder knowing she will never read them, anyway I found a truly lovely card that choked me up while reading it and at the same time I bought an anniversary card, that’s the next hurdle coming my way in a few weeks.
So yesterday morning I went to the shops and bought flowers for her at home, I do that anyway, she loved flowers, so I still but them for her, but this time I bought special ones for her birthday, wrote her card out and a letter with my thoughts and feelings and put it by the flowers.
I made up a water thing for the red roses I bought and fashioned a means to hold water so that they will have a drink when I left them, and set off to the seaside. When I got there I parked the motorbike and trotted off to the end of the pier. I attached the roses to the railings and knelt by them and said a few words in my mind. Even though it was busy it strangely all either went quiet or I just blanked it out, either way it felt respectful.
I
Put a message in with the flowers
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that is so beautiful, you brought tears to my eyes - sending you big hugs xxx