My mums funeral was yesterday, today I feel lost. It was a lovely day (if possible) and it was a real celebration of my mums life.
We worked so hard to make it just right, now I don’t know what to do with myself.
I am going back to work tomorrow, to get back to normality!
It doesn’t hit me until I go to do something that would involve mum. Phone calls visits etc.
I am dreading significant dates and feel guilty when doing something I know my mum would have involved herself in.
Mum was very poorly towards the end so it wasn’t a shock but I feel guilt about being glad she didn’t suffer too much and that she went when she did.
I just miss her so much
4 Likes
I’m very sorry for your loss @Steph73 , I know how difficult that was having recently gone through it myself. Don’t feel guilty that you didn’t want her to suffer, that’s normal and kind of you. Ease yourself back into life and normalcy, but please be kind to yourself as well - give yourself the time and space to grieve and mourn. It will continue hitting you randomly, it’s just a matter of getting used to the punches and alwat getting back up. Wishing you strength and good people around you.
2 Likes
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I found the time after the funeral much harder. It was almost like we had done everything and then there was nothing (despite the fact we still had a house to clear)
I struggled when i went back to work, if i could redo that piece of time i would have taken another week off. I work for the NHS and i found i had a really short fuse. Other peoples problems just seemed petty when i had buried my mum and dad within weeks of each other.
Please be gentle with yourself. There is no time scale for this x
3 Likes
I relate to every bit of this except it was my Dad 
sending strength x
I lost my mum middle of May and miss her so much. I found after the funeral (which was early June), after that, I had real lows. But I’m managing to muddle through. Keeping myself busy with work. But gosh, my heart really aches at times (when I’m distracted). I try to keep busy, but our loved ones are just everywhere in our thoughts, aren’t they. Just keep thinking how long will I feel like this… but I guess it’s never going to really go away. Just wish I could have a ‘normal’ day again (I’m sure you know what I mean), when mum was around and I would get her breakfast, she would have her morning coffee with me and help with the lunch meal and then sit and watch a little TV and then enjoy the evenings together; when every day just felt ‘normal’. Now I sit here and look at her empty chair and wonder how on earth the pain in my heart will ever heal, don’t think it will. But gosh, just to go back and live ‘care free’ without this sorrow and hurting inside. xxx
3 Likes
Wow you explained everything I am feeling about losing my mum to.
They say it gets easier in time but I beg to differ if anything it’s getting worse with the sadness. I get days where my heart literally hurts! Sometimes I have days where I simple just can’t believe what’s happened!
@Steph73 I found after the funeral the initial shock wore off and now I just feel lost and very depressed about it. I often replay the funeral in my mind and it distresses me and I often say it shouldn’t have even happened.
I miss my mum so much to and think they’ll never be a day I don’t miss her in all honesty!
Yes, I wish the pain would lessen. But they always say ‘the deeper the love, the deeper the loss’. It is just so hard to bear. Hugs to all. xx
2 Likes
I totally feel the same, but take.more time if you need to. I didnt searching for some kind of normality, but ended up going off again as my short fuse ended and made myself ill. Love xx