Numb and miserable

Coping with bereavement
1

It’s not been an easy year. Dad passed in July 2022, eldest sister in September 2022 and eldest brother in May 2023. When Dad passed I was dealing with the estate, house keeping myself busy with my sister. We lost her suddenly and unexpectedly it knocked me sideways but still had Dads stuff to do with less help so carried on.
In May when we lost our eldest brother although he was ill his death wasn’t related to this and we are still waiting for the body to be released.
I have no idea how I am supposed to feel.
Someone told me recently that I am more and more miserable. I am managing to get up and go to work (work have been great) I come home, do Nana duties with the grandkids (6 3 7 months) and they do help take my mind off it sometimes. But then have no emotion other times.

I feel as though people are expecting me to be over by now and by not being I am letting people down,
People have stopped inviting me to things - is that because I am miserable?

My husband (we are currently separate but he still visits here / the kids / grandkids) lost his sister in law in April and often calls his brother to see how he is doing. Last time he called afterwards said to me he says he’s doing fine but I really don’t know if he is. Rarely does he ask how I am managing.
Oh apart from when the house sold he wondered what I was going with our share.

I can’t talk to the kids (not really kids 28 24) about it as not sure if they also think I should be over it by now as it’s life as they put it and we are over it.

Sorry for the long message this feels like the only place I can write things down without judgement.

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Hi @KR310793,
Ok, firstly, loosing so many people within so short a time is no doubt a very big shock, & has changed things in your life quite dramatically. When we loose people we were close to, & loved very much, they also leave a lot of empty spaces in our lives, it can leave us feeling shell shocked, & running on autopilot. Loosing a parent & siblings, this is a lot to have to process, which will take time.
No one have the right to say you should get over it & move on, that’s just cruel. This is your grief journey, & you’re entitled to your feelings. Talk on here as often as you need, your not alone, & everyone on this forum is here for the same reason, we’ve all lost someone we love, note I’ve used present tenths “love”, & not past tenths, “loved”, just because they’re gone doesn’t mean we stop loving them, we carry them with us in our hearts. Sending hugs of support.

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Thank you so much @Pandaprincess
It’s nice to have somewhere you can be honest about your feelings without worrying about what others will say.
My doctor wanted to sign me off work but I think going in is helping me (if I can’t face it I can work from home) not sure I want to spend all day everyday at home either. I increased my anxiety medication but wonder is it’s been since then that I have become more ‘miserable’
My family has halved in less than a year I don’t know how anyone that has lost multiple people at once cope.
Thanks for reading and reaching out.
Sending hugs of support to everyone going through a tough time

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