Numb ,Empty and Total Disbelief ...MUM Died !!!

I am absolutely devastated I lost my Mum on the 18th of November i have been her carer for 41 years of my life I am 57 she was my best friend and was involved in every part of our lives she lived next door to me and my husband. I spent the last two weeks of her life running round in circles trying to get her some treatment as i knew she wasn’t well i had 6 GP call outs one out patient appointment to a rude respiratory specialist three days before she died who told me nothing wrong on her chest X-ray and CT scan he also told me he was going to discharge her as her X-ray was clear. Everyone kept telling me she just had a virus and i was overreacting. On the morning of her admission to hospital she had a full MOT from the chronic disease nurse who told me again nothing was wrong then when i rang the GP again i was told to give it time its a virus but if i am really worried to call a ambulance this i did MUM was admitted to A&E within a hour she was in resus and i was being given a end of life speech by a doctor telling me she had hours to go. Mum passed 24 hours later with chronic pneumonia I feel so guilty that no one would listen to me and as she was passing she passed a single tear which i can’t get out of my head I am broken. I went to see GP yesterday he said he can’t understand what happened and that when i am feeling better to start a case against the hospital i came away feeling worse as i so feel I didn’t shout loud enough to get her cured I politely agreed to what the professionals said even though deep down i knew she wasn’t well .i know its early days the funeral was only last Wednesday but i now have her house to clear and her beloved possessions to sort through and Xmas is coming at me like a steam train. i am short tempered with my husband i don’t have children and my friends are keeping their distance my best friend died last year from stomach cancer so i feel guilty for spending so much time with her when my Mum also needed me I wish i could just go to bed and get up in January its so hard without her I know she would hate to see me like this but i miss her so much its hard to breath.

Oh Kunzlecake you poor love. What a dreadful story, I am so sorry.

My Mum was ill for a few weeks with what I was told repeatedly was a urine infection. She collapsed in the end and we found out she was terminally ill with two huge tumours on her brain. We were told she had at best three months to live but probably less. She was gone in 6 weeks.

It really is the most terrible time for you. Can you leave sorting through your Mum’s things a bit longer?

I don’t have any real advice to give but just wanted you to know someone had read your post and that I was sorry.


Thanks Mel so sorry to hear about your Mum so many sad stories we all feel so helpless and don’t get the right honest answers.My Mum was 82 but so young and full of life in every way I just wish I’d done things different but no one would listen to me ,I feel so alone I’ve got so much to do and I just can’t move .My Gp signed me off sick with stress and anxiety yet I’ve been told the only place I can give the sicknote is the jobcentre so I have a appointment next week with a pile of forms to complete before they will see me just to give in a sick note I’m so dreading it x