My soul mate, husband Mart passed away 7 months ago, I have gone back to work after 5 months as his death was so sudden. I am having counselling but are there people out there who feel numb. Want to go out and about but are afraid to as if you will forget. I need advice on how to step out and join new groups and make friends when all I want to do is stay indoors. I find it hard to call people and need to stop this isolation as I find this sadness overwhelming Leigh
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I can completely relate. My wonderful fiance passed away suddenly 5 weeks ago and I can barely function or process what has happened. It was my life and my future. How can this have happened to us?
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@Leigh54
So sorry you loss your Mart, hugs to you.
My life was Marti and my sons, I feel so lost without him. I had no friends so had to meet new people, I couldn’t stand being alone indoors so mustered up the courage and get out there and now I must admit I’ve gone back to not bothering with friends despite them always asking me out. I just work, go gym and walk my dog and just enjoy a short natter with people. My advice to you would be call your friends, I’m sure they would want to go out with you, please don’t lock yourself away, I’ve found this doesn’t help, you need respite from grieving, it’s so painful, take one day at a time and keep in touch on here as to how you are.
Sending hugs
Amy x
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I know how you feel, I lost my husband suddenly;20.06.22 whilst on holiday.
I went back to work after 7weeks.
People ask me how l feel and I can honestly say l don’t know.
When our daughter died suddenly at 22 l went to pieces, my husband was my rock.
But now l just sad and feel an emptiness.
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Hi, this is my fist time posting, I lost my soul mate, husband confidante, lover Aug 7, 2022 after battling Pancreatic Cancer for 17 months and 50 years of being together. I don’t know how I feel, numb describes it the best. I’m just going through the motions not getting much done. Boy do I miss him to talk to, Sure I have my kids but it’s not the some. No one to watch television, or shop, or go out to a restaurant or have meals with. I’m scared one day the grief will hit me like a ton of bucks. Life really sucks right now.
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Hello Jay-Jay13,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely commenting on this thread and sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear about your Husband and how you are feeling, that is so understandable. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
You may find the following Sue Ryder resources helpful:
- Our Bereavement information pages
- Our Online Bereavement Support, which includes our free online bereavement counselling, our Grief Guide which has interactive tools to help you cope with grief, and Grief Coach, where you can receive personalised support via text
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
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My wife died 21,06,22 hellishy hard to cope, I fully understand your feelings but your i a worse position than I, losing a child would take me over I think so well done your doing great just comming here 
It just doesn’t seem real. It’s a devastating blow I never imagined I would have to face so young. Hang in there. X
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Everyone say to you if you need anythin just ask or you know where we are but in actual fact I don’t really want to go to them we need them to come to us within a few weeks at best everyone just get back to living their life, not intentional to leave you to it but the way life is, but I’d prefer them to visit me, so this here groupe is in my house, in my car, don’t take this wrong but also in my bedroom when Im reading through it, it kinda works for me to a degree I think that’s why I feel lonely, no one comes now
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Yes I know. I feel like I am burdening friends now. No one really messages anymore but I am still in shock. I can’t go far these days so it’s handy to chat here.
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Absolutly it is and ever think your a burden on me
How are you?? Silly question I know
Not good. I saw friends this weekend in a group and just could barely hold it together. I am also reliving those final hours when I keep thinking I should of done more for him.
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I have those feelings, it’s normal 21st june sue past and it seems like yesterday, constant battle with feelings and emotions re living it all the time, should I have, should I have not. Its horrible 
just know that someone is listening to you.
Ian
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I just can’t see how I will ever be ‘okay’ again. What has helped you?
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That’s question I can’t really answer it’s just a matter of getting up In the morning and struggling through it, just keep saying to my self it’s out of my hands clearly the big man has better plans for sue, if I actually knew I was going to be with her in time. I could cope with it xx just keep going, it’s a you can do
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It really does. I am so sorry for your loss and pain.My lovely gentle husband died with pancreatic cancer 7 weeks ago. I can’t believe I am saying he is dead. The pain is non stop. The reality is terrible and just heart breaking. I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up, so I could be with him. But I know that is being selfish, my family would be gutted, but no-one can understand the dreadful pain, the loss, the lonliness,the horror. The future that just looks empty. We are told time will help, the hard thing is getting through each day. Getting up, washed and dressed! We have to do that for our own sakes. I pray you find some peace x
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