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Losing a parent
1

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My mum passed away last week. She was 77. She did not have any medical problems and it was very sudden and very traumatic, I was with her, and I tried to save her.

Since last week I have felt such overwhelming sadness, guilt and regret. I have been through every emotion. I have cried for hours and hours every day. I havent been able to think about anything else or concentrate on anything else at all.

Yesterday we found our mums cause of death and it felt as awful and upsetting as the day it actually happened. I sobbed and sobbed all day.

But today I feel so weird. I just feel nothing at all, and it’s more noticeable as the day has gone on.

I feel like all last week I couldn’t think about anything else but my mum and what happened, it completely flooded my brain and overwhelmed me, and it was every single thought I had all day long, but today it’s like I can’t get it to stay in my mind.

Nothing is making me sad. I feel like all my tears and emotions have just gone. I just feel normal. Although I do know my mum had died, I’m not in denial in that sense. But it’s like I keep forgetting for a second that it’s happened and have to keep reminding myself cos it’s not sticking in my brain.

Its like I’m the exact opposite to how I’ve been since it happened. To start with I couldn’t think of anything else, and now I can’t keep it in my head and feel anything about it all. It’s like my brain won’t allow it.

I don’t like it… I feel just fine, like I did before last week, like it’s not really real :disappointed: is this normal?

​I feel like I’m going mad.

2

I lost my dad a few days ago, he was doing ok, seemed to be getting better, then it all ended so quickly.

I think you get shocked, then reality hits and you feel horrid, then you feel nothing and that feels weird, like you shouldn’t be allowed to feel like that because it seems like it’s not caring. Well, you are allowed to feel normal, you can also have a bloody good cry, just accept that what you feel is perfectly normal and don’t be too hard on yourself.

I try and go about my day as normal as I can but allow myself to have the odd moment to talk about it and allow myself to feel upset and then get back on with things. It’s important to grieve and feel loads of different emotions, but you don’t have to be harsh on yourself.