Numbness

Hi everyone I’m not sure if this is the correct forum for me or not but I’ll tell you why I’ve joined. My dear dad was the healthy parent in my family and I last saw him the day I was going on my holidays how I wished I had given him a tighter hug or another kiss goodbye as it would be the last time I would see him. Unfortunately 5 days later I received that call from family that no one wants and chaos ensued. No one got to say goodbye to him and he was found at the bottom of the stairs. Death certificate says head injury but we don’t receive anything which may have caused him to fall. He was fit and healthy. I have tried counselling but it wasn’t for me but I am afraid I am suppressing my grief as two years have passed and I’m still numb. Is this normal? He wasn’t just my dad he was my best friend. My mum had a chronic condition and has been ill most of my life so he’s had to do everything for me. Will I ever get feeling, will I ever mourn him properly? Even at the funeral I had left myself almost sick with anxiety at the thought of it yet I’ve been numb ever since it’s just not making sense to me at all that I’m bot feeling anything. I’m not on any medication that may cause this

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I’m so sorry your dad died, @Justme821. It sounds like his death was a massive shock to you.

Our Grief Guide has support pages on feeling numb which you might find helpful to read.

We also have a short explainer video on complicated grief - maybe have a watch and see if anything in there resonates with you.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to share these links with you too.

Take care,
Seaneen